


Grow up and blow away

by Lynn1998



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), And then shenanigans ensue, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Cunnilingus, Descriptions of dysphoria, Dry Humping, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Enthusiastic Consent, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gender Dysphoria, Healthy Discussions About Sex, Heavy Petting, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Online Dating, Rating May Change, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, SO MUCH FLUFF, Smut, Tag As I Go, Texting, They meet online in a gay chat room, Trans Character, Trans Eddie Kaspbrak, Trans Male Character, idk - Freeform, mentions of dysphoria, might be more smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:40:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn1998/pseuds/Lynn1998
Summary: Eddie is stuck pretending to be the perfect daughter his mother thinks he is, and so he must find a way to express himself and cope with his dysphoria. Thank god for the internet. He can be whoever he wants to be online.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 41
Kudos: 259





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Incase you didn’t notice in the tags the rating my change. Also I’ll be tagging as I post bc I can’t think o f everything I’ve written or what I’m going to write atm.

Eddie liked to think of himself as a boy in his head. When his mother forced him to wear dresses to church, he imagined himself as one of the choir boys looking at a girl with long brown hair in the most ridiculous dress from the stands. He also liked to call himself Eddie when he was having another internal monologue about his life. His mother named him Annabelle, but always called him Annie-bear. He wished he could just be Eddie. His mother would never let that happen. He was certain of it.

For a while he just thought it was normal. It was normal to have this idea of yourself as the opposite gender you were born as. Always comfortable and there within reach in his mind when his mother was so insistant of him being lady-like. He thought it was normal to have an ache in his chest whenever he looked at a boy his age. In fact he thought it was just a crush. Men were immaculate, for heavens sake, but there was something more. A certain yearning for underneath the skin. A feeling that something was missing, and when he thought about men it wasn’t missing anymore. He thought he was boy crazy until one of them actually asked him out in middle school and he realized how much he simply did not like the guy…but the _ache_ was ever present.

He wanted to cut his hair. He wanted it more than anything. His mother wouldn’t allow it, like most things, and his urge to be like the other boys was overwhelming. Along with that, his body was starting to change, and everything was like a smack in the face. He was barely a B cup, but he knew puberty wasn’t finished with him yet, so he lied and told his mother he needed sports bras to sleep in because he was getting so big. Of course, he did sleep in them, but when he woke up he merely layered them until his chest blended in with his stomach. For the first time since he was ten, he felt a little okay with himself.

“Annie-bear, how was school?” His mother asked when he came home one day.

“It was good. I should get started on my homework now,” he replied and headed up to his room immediately.

When he was in the safety of his own room he took a rough breath and shook his head. His chest felt tight, and so he stripped off his blouse and took off the sports bras. When he wrapped his arms around his chest he couldn’t help but feel a sting in his eyes. They were getting bigger, weren’t they? That’s probably why it had been so hard to breath lately. He’ll have to tell his mother he needs new ones since they’re getting so old. That or he’ll try to get Beverly to shoplift some from him the next time her mom took her to the mall. Maybe Stan has a cousin who out grew hers. Maybe Mike could just chop off his body parts with the various tools in his barn.

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut at that thought. Was that normal? To want to cut off a part of your body? He didn’t have a lot of time to ponder that question before his mother was knocking on his door. He gasped and quickly scrambled to tug his looser bra and blouse back on.

“Yes, mamma?” He called to signal that she was allowed in. His mother opened the door with a glass of water and her hand cupped to hold his afternoon pills.

“Don’t forget to take these, okay Annie? Doctor said it’s really important to take them _right_ after school,” she reminded him. Eddie nodded his head and took the pills and tossed them in his mouth. He then took the glass and gulped. His mother reached out and gently stroked the soft ringlets that cascaded down Eddie’s shoulders. “Do you like the curls mamma gave you last night? Oh, you look so pretty like a doll,” she cooed. Eddie felt an odd feeling at the mention of being pretty. He blushed and handed the glass back.

“Y…yes. Thank you,” he lied. He almost didn’t care for the curls. Objectively they were very pretty, but when he looked at himself he couldn’t help but feel a disconnect.

“Of course. Now don’t let me hold you back from studying. I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.” He nodded and then waited for her to turn around and leave.

Everything kinda sucked more when he started high school. His body continued to develop and the best he could do was just ignore it. Beverly was a wonderful support, but Eddie never fully explained his discomfort. Usually she’d try to relate to him, but that only made him feel awful. He spent a little more time with Stan during his freshman year and for the first time voiced his desire to cut his hair around both him and Beverly. Bev had cut her hair back in middle school, and he had been envious ever since. She told him maybe she could ask his mother since she knew Bev cut her hair too. Eddie wrinkled his nose at that suggestion. His mother didn’t think very highly of Bev.

It didn’t take long for Eddie to become secretive. He already kept to himself as it was, but now he was just straight up hiding things about himself. He asked his mother for her old laptop so he could be more organized for school. Throughout the years he learned to play her like a fiddle, and soon he was finally granted access to the internet.

First thing he did was make a Facebook and add Beverly, Stan, and Mike. Then he asked them what there was too do online and soon they brought him to different chat rooms he could use to talk to strangers with similar interests. Within a week of having his mother’s computer he managed to find a gay chat room filled with men who were interested in other men. At first it freaked him out, but he slowly but surly started to involve himself in the conversations with the other men.

It was a chat room for specifically the east coast. People were mostly from New York or from Maine like Eddie, but they all lived in a big city or were closeted. Eddie quickly learned all about the concept of being closeted and being LGBT, and he ached as he realized just how deeply he was in the closet. Some of his new friends from the city would tell him about how nice to felt to be out to their close friends and how it felt good to let go of everything. He wanted that too. He wanted to let go.

New people popped up all the time in the chat room. Sometimes you’d only see usernames with no words coming in or out, and sometimes a person who posted everyday would disappear. Eddie only hoped for the best for them, and he tried to stay as regular as he could without getting caught. Still, he couldn’t help but feel sad when another friend ceased to reply to everyone’s excited words

Eventually Eddie’s mom trusted him enough with a smartphone. He was happy to learn the chat room he liked has an app, and immediately downloaded once his mother finished her lecture on using it safely and let him resume his homework. The smartphone layout was a little different and took a while for him to get used to, but he noticed a lot of his friends came back since the app became so popular between them all. It made him happy again to see so many people he connected with in one space again.

“Who are you texting?” Beverly asked. Eddie jumped and tried to hide his screen, but Beverly merely plucked the device from his fingers. “No way, you’re still just hanging out in chat rooms? Don’t you have Instagram or Snapchat yet?” She asked. Eddie blushed and tried to grab his phone again.

“I-I could get it if I wanted it! I’m just…this is entertaining enough,” he tried to explain poorly.

“Why is your screen name Eddie Kasper?” She asked. Eddie blushed even brighter and finally succeeded in getting his phone back.

“I…I-I just like pretending to be a guy online sometimes. H-helps me understand them better,” he lied. Bev blinked at him with wide eyes.

“Holy shit, Annie. I think you may be onto something,” she said and instantly pulled out her phone. Eddie let out a sigh of relief and returned his attention to the chat room. Thank god he could cover his ass with Bev. She was usually the first to call him out when he was lying.

There was someone being rather disruptive in the group chat. He wasn’t very eloquently spoken, and he wasn’t very polite either. The app had just started offering private messaging in the newest update, but Eddie didn’t want to have to be the one to interrupt this asshole and tell him to cool his jets on main. Still, that didn’t stop him from calling him out in the open, and he was quick to learn that this asshole was really all about pushing buttons.

Eddie_Kasper: @trashmouth please shut up for the love of god

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper that’s not what your mother said last night ayeeee

Eddie rolled his eyes at that and shook his head. What a child. He must’ve been Eddie’s age, if not younger. Everything about him seemed juvenile.

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper what’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper speaking of your mother, did she help you pick out your username? What a fucking drab dude

*Trashmouth has been banned for 24 hours by moderator Buns4Life*

Eddie audibly laughed at that and thanked Buns via private chat. He figured he wouldn’t be dealing with Trashmouth anymore and decided to move on. Unfortunately over the course of the next few weeks he was incredibly wrong. Trashmouth only came back harder and with a vengeance.

Trashmouth: WHATS UP FUCKERS

*Trashmouth has been banned for 6 hours by moderator Buns4Life*

*Trashmouth has been unbanned by moderator TwinksHaveRights*

Trashmouth: thank youuu @TwinksHaveRights

TwinksHaveRights: don’t make me regret this dude

Eddie_Kasper: I don’t think he can do that

Trashmouth: wowwwe @Eddie_Kasper no hesitation going right for the throat. Do you miss me whenever I’m logged off?

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth you wish

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper bet you wait online for me to come on just so you can swoop in with the lamest insult you can think of haha

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth literally in your dreams dummy. I actually have friends I talk to here

Buns4Life: that’s true

Eddie_Kasper: @Buns4Life thank you

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper so like u’re a bottom or something? Bc you totally act like one lmaooo

Trashmouth: also @Eddie_Kasper bold of you to use your full name as a username. What is this? Gmail.com?

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth bold of you to assume this is my real legal name

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper bullshit no way you willingly named yourself Eddie.

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth well that’s my name so don’t wear it out

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper wouldn’t dream of it Eds

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth stop I told you it’s Eddie

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper what? It’s just a nickname. I thought this chat room was a place to be fucking gay and flirt :/

Buns4Life: @Trashmouth if Eddie is uncomfortable with the nickname then maybe don’t use it buddy

Trashmouth: @Buns4Life ah fuck

Buns4Life: @Eddie_Kasper maybe you’re struggling with some internalized homophobia. Usually you don’t engage in flirting, but maybe Trashmouth makes you uncomfortable because you’ve been taught a man shouldn’t speak to you like you’re an option

Eddie thought for a moment and then looked up at himself in the mirror. His hair was still long, and his eyes were tired. His sports bras were getting looser the more he wore them, and his mother forced him to wear a skirt that day. He then looked back when his phone buzzed again.

Trashmouth: yeah @Eddie_Kasper I’m just tryna give you some looooove

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper just don’t let your mom know or else she’ll be jealous :(

Eddie wrinkled he nose in disgust as he typed out his response to the crude boy.

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth you’re vile

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper mmmm yeah baby love it when you talk dirty to me

*Trashmouth has been banned for 24 hours by moderator TwinksHaveRights*

It didn’t take long before Eddie received a private message from Trashmouth. At first he thought it was just a gag because he greeted him with another mom joke, but then he tried again the next day, and Eddie didn’t have enough self control to avoid this obnoxious boy any longer.

Trashmouth: hey baby is your mother home? Cuz I’m just about ready for anything 

Trashmouth: oof…no response. Sorry I thought we were just playing

Eddie_Kasper: we were for the most part. I just thought you were trying to bother me

Trashmouth: I guess in a way yes? I mostly just want your attention because it feels so good to have it

Eddie_Kasper: how come?

Trashmouth: well you really don’t respond in the chat that much, especially to new people. So I guess it made me feel kinda special

Trashmouth: plus i believe our chemistry is impeccable. We’d win tumblrs most popular ship this year

Eddie_Kasper: I highly doubt that…

Trashmouth: why don’t you have a profile picture?

Eddie’s breath hitched. He looked at himself in the mirror, and cringed at how fucking girly he looked. There’s no way he could get a decent picture to constantly represent him…

Eddie_Kasper: I’m the opposite of photogenic

Eddie_Kasper: trust me if you have any interest in me whatsoever it’s best if I’m hidden

Trashmouth: Uh I doubt its that bad. Just one little selfie? If doesn’t even need to be that good. We all know we look better in person

Eddie_Kasper: maybe another time

Trashmouth: :(

A sigh left Eddie’s lips. Why did he want to give in to this random boy he just met online? He seemed…/awful/ and yet Eddie couldn’t help but want to take a decent selfie.

Before he could fully think about it, he started going through his drawers. He found a loose fitting night shirt and a button down. In his top drawer he had Beverly’s black beanie, and Stan’s baseball cap. He quickly put his new sports bras on and dressed himself in his little outfit. Then he put his hair in a low ponytail and pulled it over his head with the hat so the ends stuck out like bangs. There were so many tutorials on how to fake short “boy” hair on tumblr that he had them memorized. 

With the transformation complete, he couldn’t help but smile. Maybe if he was walking outside…and maybe if someone wasn’t wearing their glasses…he could be mistaken for a biological man. His phone buzzed again and he jumped and scrambled for it on his bed. He then opened the message and felt his heart hammer.

Trashmouth: I get it if you’re nervous, so I’ll send you a selfie first. My profile picture is just my rock hard abs baby ;P

After that Eddie received a picture of a smiling curly-haired teen. He looked to be a year or two older than Eddie, and he was complete with braces and glasses. His hair was absolutely unruly, and darker than anyone’s that Eddie has ever seen before. His eyes squinted with his smile, and the lighting looked like he took it in front of a window. His skin was pale, and that was probably what made his hair look so dark. 

Worst of all…he was no doubt the cutest boy Eddie had ever seen. Was this really the Trashmouth he’s been talking to all week? He looked too sweet, his cheeks too pink, his eyes too soft, to have actually typed out the vile shit he’s typed. Eddie’s hands shook as he tried to take a selfie to send in return, and he finally settled on one that was less blurry than the other ones. He double checked it for any indication that he was born a female, and finally squeezed his eyes shut as he pressed send. When he opened them again he was greeted with a million messages.

Trashmouth: whoa wait

Trashmouth: is that really you?

Trashmouth: fuck, like no joke?

Trashmouth: holy shit u r so cute wtf

Trashmouth: you’re such a goddamn liar there’s no way you could be that oblivious to your fucking beauty

Trashmouth: or maybe you could I mean body dysmorphia exists ykno

Trashmouth: OFF TOPIC

Trashmouth: you’re just really Fucking cute and I’m spamming you so I don’t have to think about how long it’s taking you to respond

Trashmouth: fuck, do you have freckles????? 

Eddie_Kasper: they haven’t gone away yet from summer

Trashmouth: well Eddie Spaghetti I must say you are one hell of a looker

Eddie_Kasper: this is kinda cruel if you’re just joking rn ykno?

Trashmouth: !!!!!!!!!!!

Trashmouth: no joke!

Trashmouth: you’re so cute

Trashmouth: look I used proper English

Trashmouth: I’m just…like a lot to deal with. I didn’t think you’d actually send something today.

Eddie swallowed hard, and started to type a reply. He then quickly batted off his beanie and button up and stuffed them under his pillow as his mother knocked briefly and merely invited herself in. Eddie whipped his head around to see his mother standing there with her arms crossed.

“Annie, you forgot your afternoon pills,” she announced. Eddie flinched, as if her disappointment had smacked him in the face.

“Sorry, mamma. I forgot once I got started on homework,” he lied.

“Did you? Because it doesn’t look like you’re doing homework. It looks like you’re spending too much time on that phone,” she said pointedly. Before Eddie could speak again his mother was across the room and ripping the device form his fingers. “You won’t be seeing this for a week. Come down for dinner now and start picking up your slack,” she scolded. Eddie nodded obediently. “And change your shirt. It’s not time for bed yet, Annie.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have three chapters of this written and I’ll probably write a fourth part but I’m still not sure. Also I wanted to write Eddie a little more independent while also trying to keep him in character so let me know how I’m doin

Eddie_Kasper: sorry guys. My mom took my phone so I can’t PM any of you guys :(

Buns4Life: @Eddie_Kasper oh crap. I’m sorry dude. When do you get it back?

TwinksHaveRights: @Eddie_Kasper shit dude I’m so sorry

BunnyBoy55: @Eddie_Kasper sorry dude! Godspeed!

KinkyBootsLover: @Eddie_Kasper I’m so sorry man. Can you be online for long?

Eddie_Kasper: thanks guys. I have my laptop still bc I use it to study a lot, but I can’t be online for long. I don’t wanna risk it getting taken away too

TwinksHaveRights: @Eddie_Kasper fuck being a teenager sucks. Sorry about that

Trashmouth: !!!!!!!!

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper Eddie spaghetti! You left me hanging!

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth sorry about that. My mom came in when I was about to reply and I got in trouble for skipping my meds.

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper your meds? In the afternoon?

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth Eddie’s mom is convinced that he’s extremely sick and needs constant medication. We’re all thinking it’s just placebos his doctor prescribes to appease her

KinkyBootsLover: @Trashmouth @TwinksHaveRights I don’t blame him! After everything Eddie has told us she sounds like a nightmare

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth she’s a freak. I’ve been trying to figure out how I can sneak out at 18 and never go back. Been studying really hard for scholarships

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper you should apply to NYU! Or somewhere else in New York! I live in Queens. We could like meet in person

TwinksHaveRights: Uh y’all seeing this? I think they’re finally friends now

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights hush hush you have no rights

Eddie felt his face grow pale and a chill wash over his body despite the blanket he wrapped himself in. He looked at the ever present mirror propped up in the corner and almost started crying immediately at how absurdly female he looked. His eyes even started to pool over, but he quickly wiped it away. Trashmouth wanted to see him and that made him so nervous. He never told any of them that he was born a girl, and he feared their responses if he did. That and that smile? With those glasses and that terrible curly hair that looked like a dream to run his fingers through. Even if Eddie was born in the right body he couldn’t help but feel nervous meeting such an attractive guy.

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth I was mostly looking at Chicago and even the west coast. The further away the better

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper Aw :( well apply here just incase. I’ll protect you if she tries anything like that

Buns4Life: wow that was actually kinda sweet

Trashmouth: @Buns4Life hush Billium or I’ll get your BF to ban you

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth why would I do that when you literally told me I don’t have rights?

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights you adorable little twink you. You’ll do it bc I ask with cherries on top

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights and because I’ll bring you those chocolate covered fruits from that one store the next time I’m in Maine

*Buns4Life has been banned for 2 hours by moderator TwinksHaveRights*

Eddie_Kasper: wow. The loyalty

Trashmouth: Hell yeah! Victory is almost as sweet as chocolate covered dried fruit

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth you actually come up to Maine?

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper yeah. Why? Any chance I’ll see you walking around Portland later this month? :0

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth I highly doubt it. I live in Derry

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper maybe I’ll make a detour

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper break into your little bedroom and sweep you off your feet 

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper escape before your wicked mother even finds out I was inside in the first place

Warmth spread over Eddie’s cheeks, and it wasn’t just from the warmth from the computer screen. How infuriatingly sweet. Just thinking about Richie scooping him up and running away together filled his heart with such longing and desire. A life without his mother and instead with a man who seemed to be rather fond of him. He tried to bite back a smile, but he didn’t have to when he looked at the mirror again and shook his head at himself. Silly girl…

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth okay that was really sweet

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights watch it you’re on thin fucking ice

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth wtf did I do???

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights you started it!

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth unfortunately I doubt you would be able to keep quiet enough to sneak in unnoticed

TwinksHaveRights: @Eddie_Kasper good point

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights stay out of this! I’m tryna woo him!

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper you’ve never heard me speak baby how do you know I don’t have a gentle tone

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth now that’s fucking funny

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights that’s it! No chocolate fruit for u!!!!

*Buns4Life has been unbanned by moderator TwinksHaveRights*

Buns4Life: what I miss?

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth thanks but I’ll trust @TwinksHaveRights although…you even type loudly. I get a headache just talking online with you

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper :(

Buns4Life: @Eddie_Kasper pls throw him a bone I don’t wanna listen to him whine about this later

Eddie_Kasper: ugh

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth … you’re really cute too

Buns4Life: wat

Trashmouth: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper you think I’M really cute???

Trashmouth:HoLy ShIt

Trashmouth: I can’t believe the cutest boy I’ve ever seen said that I’M really cute

TwinksHaveRights: @Eddie_Kasper @Trashmouth Wait, have you guys seen each other? Like sent selfies?

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights hell yeah we have! Eds is the cutest guy I’ve ever fucking seen

Trashmouth: @TwinksHaveRights he has freckles!!!!

TwinksHaveRights: @Trashmouth wtf why did he send YOU a selfie? 

TwinksHaveRights: @Eddie_Kasper We’ve been friends way longer!

Buns4Life: @Trashmouth @Eddie_Kasper yeah this is kind of a wtf Eddie moment and those are very rare

Trashmouth: fuck I feel really fucking special rn holy shit

Eddie_Kasper: @TwinksHaveRights @Buns4Life sorry but it was the only way to satisfy him

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper baby with those lips there are plenty ways you could satisfy me ;)

Eddie_Kasper: Okay I’m logging off before my mom telepathically figures out I’m online past midnight. Goodnight guys

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper it was just a joke Eds pls stay :(

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth don’t call me Eds and I know but I’m not lying. My mom is crazy

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper oh okay,,, when do you get your phone back?

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth Hopefully by the end of the week. I’ll update the chat when I hear anything different

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper okay… I’ll miss u </3

Buns4Life: wow I didn’t realize he was such a sap

Trashmouth: @Buns4Life Billium I s2g

Eddie_Kasper: @Trashmouth don’t miss me too much. I’ll be back before you know it

Trashmouth: @Eddie_Kasper okay baby I’ll be looking at your selfie with one hand in the mean time ayeeee ;)

*Trashmouth has been banned for 6 hours by moderator Buns4Life*

Buns4Life: jfc

Eddie_Kasper: thanks Bill. I’ll talk to you all later

  
The week went by extremely slowly. Without his usually group of friends he found himself feeling extra lonely. That combined with the fact that he was out to literally nobody took away his outlet to himself. No one would call him Eddie for an entire week. No one would say he’s a cold guy or the cutest boy or anything like that for a fucking week and he hated it. He spent more time with Stan that week because he just missed the feeling of being around guy friends. His mother allowed him to hangout at Stan’s house to study, and so he studied with him after school on Thursday and Friday and spent the day with him on Saturday for their history project.

Stan was a nice guy. He was pretty reserved, and Eddie suspected he had his secrets of his own. Despite not knowing what they are, he couldn’t help but feel a connection to him because of it. Stan didn’t pry either and he was quiet. Beverly was nice to talk to but sometimes it was nice to just study in silence or even just have a quiet conversation. He also felt like he got a better idea of how to talk when he listened to Stan. His inflection, his tone, and even his voice cracks. Eddie found himself imitating the low register, and was thankful that Stan never questioned it.

They got to a point in their study session where they could take a break and Stan pulled out his phone. It reminded Eddie that he didn’t have his own, and that he wished he could talk to his friends again. He then noticed the furrow of Stan’s brow and frowned.

“Everything okay?” He asked. Stan looked up at him and then nodded.

“Yeah, it’s just…I’m in this group chat and this guy is just out of control. Feels like I have to ban him very time he types,” he explained. Eddie snorted.

“I know how that feels. I have a chat room with a guy who’s exactly like that,” Eddie agreed. Stan was quiet for a moment and then set his phone down.

“Annie…can I tell you something?” He asked quietly. Eddie blinked at him and then nodded.

“Of course, Stan. You can tell me anything,” he assured him. Stan took a shaky breath.

“I’m uh…I’m actually…not attracted to women,” he confessed. Eddie’s eyes went wide.

“Really?” He whispered. Stan nodded and looked to his phone again.

“I joined this chat room for gay guys, and…I’ve met someone online. He lives in Vermont, and…he’s just really nice,” Stan told him. Eddie smiled at that.

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you Stan,” he said. Stan smiled at that. “What’s the guys name?”

“His name is Bill. He’s…He’s just very nice.”

Bill…chat room…obnoxious friend…

“W-What was that chat room you were talking about?” Eddie stuttered.

“Oh,” Stan picked up his phone again and scrolled through it without showing it. “This one. This guy, Trashmouth has been going nonstop ever since our friend Eddie got his phone taken away. I think he likes him,” Stan told him. Eddie felt his blood run cold as he heard that familiar username.

“Are you…” Eddie licked his lips. “A-are you…Twinks Have Rights?” He asked. Stan blinked at him and Eddie looked at him with wide terrified eyes.

“How did you…how did you know my username? Did you snoop through my phone?” He asked sounding defensive. Eddie quickly shook his head.

“No! God, no! I would never! I just…” he trailed off. Not sure what to say. “I-I’m Eddie,” he blurted. Stan frowned at that.

“Eddie?”

“Eddie Kasper? I…my username is Eddie underscore Kasper and I don’t have a profile picture. I uh…I’ve been in the chat room for a couple years now,” he confessed. Stan still looked upset.

“Jesus Christ, Annie. You’ve been pretending to be a guy since freshman year?” He accused. Eddie felt his eyes sting at that.

“No! N-no, I just…” he sighed and wiped his tears.

“Y’know, Richie is gonna be a little crushed. He’s bi and I told him to join the chat so he could meet guys,” Stan accused.

“I am a guy!” Eddie blurted. Stan’s brows shot up and Eddie blushed. “I-I mean…I wish I was…a lot. All the time, really. I…I’m transgender.” That was the first time Eddie had said that out loud.

“You mean…”

“I really want to transition, but my mom…she’s awful.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I just get so defensive about my online friends I just assumed the worst,” Stan apologized. Eddie shook his head.

“It’s okay. I know how much you love us all. I didn’t realize one of my best friends was just down the street,” he said and sniffled with a smile. Stan smiled back and nodded.

“Yeah…uh, should I call you Eddie now? Does Bev know?”

“Um…maybe when it’s just us, but I don’t want people to be harassing me. As for Bev…you’re the first person I’ve ever told,” he said.

“Wow. Do you want to tell her? Should we tell the group chat?” Eddie hesitated.

“I think we should hold off on telling the chat, and…if you think she’ll be okay with it I think I would like it,” he said. Stan smiled wide.

“I think she would be ecstatic.”

Sure enough, she was. The minute Eddie told her with Stan by his side she was giddy with delight and wrapped him up in a hug. She then rambled on and on about how she had a bunch of older cousins who needed to get rid their old clothes that would fit Eddie and how she could cut his hair for him and so on and so forth. Eddie got so caught up in all of it that he felt a little overwhelmed, but thankfully Stan was there to calm Bev down and settle with the clothing aspect first.

That next Monday Bev showed up to school with a small bag of clothes, and they spent their lunch in the women’s room trying on everything in the disability stall. Thankfully Beverly also included some nice and tight sports bras, and Eddie leaped at the chance to rip off his second sports bra and replace it with a snugly fit outer layer. They stuffed the clothes Eddie liked in his backpack and the rest was put back into Beverly’s bag. She walked him home and distracted his mother as he rushed upstairs to put the clothes in the back of his dresser.

By the end of the month he was dying for his phone back. He spent so many nights dressing up in the clothes Beverly got him and tying up his hair so he could get a better match to how he always saw himself. Of course his mother was a few days late giving him back his device, but once he finally got it back he took so many pictures of himself dressed up in the clothes that made him the most comfortable. 

Thankfully when his mom snatched the device it was close to being dead so he doubted she had much time to snoop. Unfortunately that meant he had to charge his phone all night and then he could finally use it the next day. After he took all the selfies he wanted he realized he hadn’t checked the group chat yet. He opened the app and was happy to see everyone’s usernames again. He felt even more excited to see Stan’s username now that he knew it was him, and everything felt like it was supposed to be that way.

Trashmouth: spaghetti!

Eddie_Kasper: lol hi

Trashmouth: fuck I missed you

Trashmouth: how was the dungeon??

Eddie_Kasper: a little lonely but not too bad

Eddie_Kasper: I learned that Stan and I live down the street from each other and that we were already friends irl

Trashmouth: !!!!!!!!

Trashmouth: Stan the man? Twinks Have Rights?

Eddie_Kasper: Yup. He came out to me during our study session and we kinda just connected the dots

Trashmouth: fuck I’m so jealous

Trashmouth: but since you know Stan maybe we can hangout the next time I’m up in Maine.

Eddie_Kasper: I doubt it. My mother locks me up during the summer

Eddie_Kasper: I’m also not as cute as you say I am and irl is uh not ideal

Trashmouth: oh don’t be shy baby boy I bet you look magnificent

Trashmouth: Uh I kinda realized I never really told you my name

Trashmouth: I’m Richie Tozier at your service

Eddie_Kasper: oh, your Stan’s Bi friend

Trashmouth: hahahshahahah ahahahahahahahahahah

Trashmouth: he’s definitely not getting those chocolate covered fruits

Eddie_Kasper: I like that name. It’s cute

Trashmouth: Eddie Baby you have my whole heart in the palm of your hand rn

Trashmouth: I’d really like to see you

Eddie_Kasper: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to focus on school so I can move out

Trashmouth: pls come to NY

Trashmouth: idk if I sound desperate right now but not sure if I care atm

Trashmouth: I mean I’m going into my senior year and my parents are telling me to start looking into colleges

Trashmouth: it would be really cool if we could see each other on campus

Eddie_Kasper: I’ll think about it Richie.

Trashmouth: Okay. Btw thought you might wanna see my face again since you think it’s so cute so here’s me at the orthodontist

Richie sent a picture of himself in the dentist chair with his mouth stretched wide open. He held up a thumbs up and his eyes were smiling more than his mouth. Eddie grinned at it and admired how even when he was in such a ridiculous contraption he was incredibly endearing and cute.

Eddie_Kasper: thank you. I like the drool stain on your shirt

Trashmouth: only the best for you baby ;)

Eddie successfully avoided Richie that summer. Instead he spent his time on his AP homework and applying to scholarships and colleges all around the country. His mother was under the impression that he would be attending Derry Community College, but that was merely his back up. For the first time in his life he was actually a little grateful his mother was the only guardian in the household. Because she had such a low income and Eddie was her only child the scholarships were approved left and right. Eventually he earned a full ride to NYU to study anything he desired through grad school.

That summer Beverly bought him his first binder for his birthday. Putting it on was ten times more comfortable than his sports bras, and the relief that followed by how much flatter his chest looked was absolutely amazing. He wanted to start his medical transition so desperately, but he knew it was virtually impossible to do it under his mother’s nose.

“You know you can deny her access to your information now, right? In fact you could’ve all last year too,” Beverly told him on the bus. Eddie blinked up at her and furrowed his brows.

“Really?”

“Yup! You just have to tell them who can and can’t look at your records and then you can make an appointment to start testosterone,” she told him.

“Oh…I…I actually found someone online-“

“Eddie,” Beverly interrupted. “You’re not seriously considering black market hormones, are you? Aren’t you freaked out by uncleanliness?”

“Well, yeah, but I know how to sterilize everything and…” he looked down at his feet. “…it feels wrong not being on it. I dunno how long it’ll take.” Beverly sighed and rubbed his shoulder.

“I know, Eddie. Please just try it the legal way first before you risk hurting yourself, okay?” She urged. Eddie nodded.

“Richie, cut it out! Our stop is next!”

Eddie’s eyes snapped up at the sound of Stan’s voice from across the bus, and he instantly spotted him towards the front next to a wild mass of black curls. The two boys were turned away from him, and he almost squeaked when the bus hit a pothole. Luckily they didn’t look back at him, but Eddie still couldn’t help but try and hide his face. Fuck, he thought Richie left yesterday! That’s why he agreed to go into town with Beverly today!

“Eddie? Are you okay?” Bev asked.

“No!” He whisper-yelled. He then pointed to the black curly hair. “That’s Richie!” Beverly looked at him with wide eyes.

“Holy shit, that’s your boyfriend!” She whispered excitedly.

“Shut up, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“But he wants to be.”

“Fuck off. I can’t let him see me like this. I look like a fucking woman,” he hissed. Beverly shook her head. Eddie had changed back at her house into something he felt comfortable in, and he looked pretty damn convincing. He only got misgendered when he spoke.

“No you don’t, dude. You look like a man,” she insisted. 

Eddie shook his head and continued to try and hide as the bus came close to the stop. Stan and Richie stood up and huddled near the door, and Eddie looked up just in time to catch Richie’s eyes. He looked a lot taller in person, and his arms and legs were even lankier than he imagined. The other boy seemed to freeze as he caught Eddie’s eyes, and before he could move over the doors were open.

“Richie, lets go!” Stan urged when he didn’t move. But Richie fought him for a minute trying to keep eye contact with Eddie.

“Eddie?” He called. His eyes went wide and he looked to the floor. He could hear Stan heckling him and pulling him out of the bus, and then it was finally moving again.

“Holy shit he totally recognized you,” Beverly gasped as she strained her neck to look out the window. Eddie groaned.

“Fuck.” His phone buzzed.

Trashmouth: I THINK I JUST SAW YOU

Trashmouth: ON THE BUS

Trashmouth: FUCK YOURE SO CUTE IN PERSON TOO I WANTED TO COME OBER BUT STAN WAS BEING AN ASS

Trashmouth: WE SHOULD MEET UP FOR LUNCH WTF

Eddie_Kasper: Not me

Eddie_Kasper: I’m at home rn

“You fucking liar,” Beverly laughed. Eddie rolled his eyes.

Trashmouth: you’re totally lying Stan said he couldn’t tell but I think he’s lying too

Eddie_Kasper: what’s more likely all your friends are lying to you or you mistook me for an average teenage guy with brown hair?

Trashmouth: WE MADE EYE CONTACT BABY

Trashmouth: LET ME LOVE YOU I WANNA MEET

“Someone is very incessant,” Beverly noted. Eddie nodded.

“Yup…”

They started classes less than a month later, and Eddie was relieved to share a decent amount of them with Stan. On the first day he walked up to Eddie’s desk and started pulling something out of his backpack without a word. Finally he plopped a black hoodie with blue and yellow sleeves on his desk. Eddie blinked at the material and then up at his friend. Stan looked mildly annoyed, but smiled a little before speaking.

“Richie wanted you to have it,” he explained. Eddie’s eyes widened and he blushed looking down at the material.

“Richie…”

“Yeah, you owe me for covering your ass by the way. He couldn’t shut up about you after he spotted you on the bus even after I lied about it,” he said. Eddie smiled.

“Thanks, Stan. You’re a really amazing friend.” Stan sighed.

“You are too, bud…”

Eddie wore that hoodie all through the fall and all through the winter. It became his most comfortable item of clothing in his wardrobe, and became his go to when he was feeling really dysphoric. The hood kept his hair out of the way, and the fabric swallowed his body whole leaving no trace of a figure behind. He took it with him to his first gender therapy meeting, and it was his security blanket at that point. It only smelled like Richie for a couple months, but he’ll never forget the smell of his deodorant mixed with a little bit of cigarette smoke and what he assumed was his shampoo. He missed it once it faded, but he could still pick out traces of it when he sniffed hard enough.

Christmas break was approaching fast, and Eddie still hadn’t brought up the fact that Richie gave him his hoodie. Richie mentioned it a couple times, but Eddie merely teased him for it and moved on. He was laying in bed one day with his hair pulled back like normal and his face almost engulfed in the drawstring. Some of the hair flicked out as if it were cropped short, and when he turned the camera in his phone on he was actually pleased with what he saw for once. He snapped a couple pictures, a few hiding his face in his sleeve and one offering a shy smile as he laid in his pillow. While he was inspecting all of them he was interrupted by his phone buzzing.

Trashmouth: Eddie Eds my darling my love my sweetheart my spaghetti man

Trashmouth: I have exciting news

Eddie_Kasper: do you?

Eddie_Kasper: also don’t call me any of those things except for Eddie jfc

Trashmouth: no can do baby you inspire me

Trashmouth: but I do

Trashmouth: my parents an I are coming back up for winter break to see my grandma

Trashmouth: is there a chance I might see you or will I be mistaken by a striking brunette on the bus again? :0

Eddie_Kasper: I’m gonna be out of town for Christmas break

It was a lie, but it was the only way to say no without hurting him. What sucked the most was that Eddie really wanted to see him at this point. He wanted to smell the origin of that musk and hear his laugh and see his smile in person. He wanted to wrap him up in a hug and hold him close to his heart. He wanted it so badly.

Trashmouth: Eddie Baby you’re breaking my heart :(

Trashmouth: but I understand

Trashmouth: any chance I could get a little selfie in the mean time?? :000 I miss your cute little face

Eddie rolled his eyes and scrolled through his selfies he just took before deciding on sending a couple. One of his face covered with the sleeve and one with his smile on center focus. He knew he would regret sending both, but he was weak for Richie’s desperate attempt to see him in anyway he could.

Trashmouth: fuck

Trashmouth: Okay didn’t expect more than one and didn’t expect to see you in bed and definitely wasn’t expecting to see you in bed while wearing my hoodie

Trashmouth: fuck you’re so fucking perfect

Trashmouth: definitely looking at these with one hand later

Eddie_Kasper: you’re so gross

Trashmouth: lol you know I’m teasing about that.

Trashmouth: for the most part

Trashmouth: but not the rest the rest is major true I’ve got heart eyes right now

Trashmouth: you have the most perfect smile I wish I could be there to kiss you

A blush crept up Eddie’s face. It was easier to tell when Richie was being serious and when he was being a dick, and he was absolutely being serious right now. Just reading his sweet words filled him with such a burning sensation he wasn’t sure what to say.

Trashmouth: sorry if that was a bit much I just

Trashmouth: I really like you Eds. I hope we can meet one day.

Eddie sighed.

Eddie_Kasper: me too, Richie

Trashmouth: can I have your number? Is it okay if I call you? I wanna hear your voice

He knew it should’ve been an automatic no, but ever since he heard Richie’s voice on the bus he was craving to hear him again. Fuck, he hated the sound of his voice because it didn’t really sound like _his_ voice. He wasn’t sure what his actual voice was supposed to sound like, but it shouldn’t have sounded like _that_.

Eddie_Kasper: you can text me but calling wouldn’t work out. My mom hears everything

Trashmouth: Fucking bitch

Eddie_Kasper: but…I wouldn’t mind hearing your voice

Eddie_Kasper: it’s a little one-sided, but if you ever want to call me just uh

Eddie_Kasper: you can just text me and then call and vent or ramble and I’ll listen to you. It would be best to do when it’s dark

Trashmouth: Eddie Baby my love I would fucking love to do that.

Trashmouth: can I call you tonight?

Eddie_Kasper: another night. Her show is on tonight so she’ll be staying up later than normal

Trashmouth: aaaaaaa this fucking lady 

Trashmouth: now I don’t feel bad for leaving her hanging jfc

Eddie_Kasper: gross

Trashmouth: tomorrow night?

Eddie_Kasper: Okay. That should work.

Trashmouth: fuck yeah

Trashmouth: I can’t wait

Eddie_Kasper: me too

Hearing the hushed tone of Richie’s voice over the phone was the best thing Eddie has ever listened to in his life. He felt his body melt into his bed as Richie started rambling about his day and then about the pictures Eddie sent him the other day. It was hard to keep quiet and not respond, but eventually he drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of Richie’s voice. 

From that night on it was a pretty regular routine for them. Eddie actually found it hard to fall asleep on the days they didn’t call, and when they did call Eddie almost didn’t want to sleep so he could continue listening to Richie talk. While he never thought in a million years he would _want_ Richie to talk nonstop, there was something different in the way he talked over the phone. He was sweeter, and more thoughtful with what he shared. Sure he’d crack a joke like always and Eddie would offer a tired chuckle or a groan in response, but Richie would also tell him about something that reminded him of Eddie. He’d talk about how he hoped everything was okay for Eddie, and he’d even talk about how he missed Eddie despite never meeting him in person. It was…different. More candid.

“Y’know you snore after you fall asleep? It’s really cute actually, you sound so cute. Cute cute cute,” Richie said. It had been a week since Richie returned to New York after winter break and they had returned to school. It was actually a school night and Eddie was falling asleep fast.

“Mm…” Eddie gave a short hum in response. That’s how he communicated. Grunts and hums in the little spaces he wished he could fill with his voice but was too shy.

“I just wish I could be there so we could cuddle. I’ll admit I’m kind of a cuddle monster. It’s just so warm and I bet your skin is really soft since you stay inside a lot. Fuck, if we could hold hands that would be amazing,” he continued. Eddie smiled.

“M-hm,” he agreed. Richie sighed and Eddie closed his eyes at the sound of his breathing. He could almost imagine he was right in front of him instead of states away.

“I wish you would come to NYU for college. I know I can be…pushy and playful at times and I’ve tried to lay back because it’s your life and you can do whatever you want, but…” Eddie’s eyes slowly blinked open as Richie spoke and he curled up under his blanket. “I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t upset me. Like I wouldn’t be upset with you, but I’d be upset that I can’t see you. I…I really like you Eds, and I’ve never even met you yet but I…” he trailed off. His voice sounded strained, and Eddie felt his heart break when he realized Richie with crying.

“ _Richie_ …” he whispered. He hoped his voice was low enough.

“Fuck, sorry-“

“ _It’s okay, Richie_ ,” Eddie cooed. His voice was gentle but it had a nice gruff to it from not speaking for so long. “ _I really like you too_.”

“God, it feels so good to hear you say that. Do you have to whisper for your mom?” He asked.

“M-hm.”

“Sorry. Promise me you’re still considering New York?” He begged. Eddie sighed.

“ _Of course. I haven’t made any decisions yet_ ,” he assured him.

“Thank god…I’m holding onto that. I hope you know that,” he said. Eddie tried to muffle a giggle, but he was certain a least a little bit got out.

“ _I know. We should get some sleep, okay?_ ” He whispered.

“Yeah…can we stay on the line? I wanna hear your snoring again, baby.” Eddie smiled.

“ _Sure thing…_ ”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff and a little smug at the end

“You mean you haven’t told Richie that you have a full ride yet?” Stan asked incredulously. Eddie blushed and hid his face in his hoodie.

“I mean…I’m still thinking about how I’m gonna move down there. I know I’ll be on campus all four years, but I’ve been talking to my therapist about how to start transitioning after I move out. He said he’ll write a referral for a therapist in Manhattan, but I don’t need much paper work since they do informed consent for hormones in New York City,” Eddie explained.

“So you’re going to New York?” He said it less like a question. Eddie shrugged.

“I hope I can. I’m not sure what I’ll do this summer though,” he replied.

“You know Bev is going to NYU too, right? She’s leaving after graduation to move in with her boyfriend in Queens. I bet if you asked and offered to do house work…they’d let you stay until the term starts,” he told him. Eddie pursed his lips and then nodded.

“I’ll ask her about it later.”

Beverly talked to him about it first since Stan had no patience for Eddie’s hesitation. She excitedly told him her plan to drive down to her boyfriend, Ben, the week after graduation and that she could easily talk him into letting Eddie stay for the summer. He allowed her to start making plans and felt himself get a little excited about it too. Of course he was incredibly nervous about the whole thing too, but that fact that he could actually start living his life soon was beyond exhilarating.

“Oh my god you have to let me give you a haircut when we get to Queens. First thing I want to do is give you a good chop then we’ll take you to a barber and get it cleaned up,” Beverly said excitedly. Eddie smiled at the idea of finally being without his long hair. It had been such a burden all these years and he was so tempted to just rip it out himself.

“O…okay. I think I’d like that,” he nodded.

“Have you thought about what you want to bring with you?” Beverly asked. Eddie nodded again and pulled out his phone so he could show her his list.

“Mostly just my documents. Birth certificate, social security card, my drivers license. High school diploma, a copy of my transcripts. Anything else in my legal box she has, uh…and then some school supplies and the clothes you’ve given me over the years,” he told her. Beverly nodded as she read through the list with him.

“Sounds really good! Have you told Richie yet? He’s still gonna be in Queens with his parents until he starts at NYU,” she told him. Richie and Beverly had become friends through Stan and Eddie, so it didn’t surprise Eddie that she was excited that he lived so close.

“Um…I haven’t told him yet. I dunno how comfortable I’d be with him seeing me like this. I still…he still doesn’t know that I’m…trans,” he admitted. Beverly frowned an rubbed his shoulder.

“I hope you know he wouldn’t mind. If that’s what’s holding you back from being with him. He really likes you, Eddie,” she assured him. He took a breath and shrugged.

“I just…I feel bad for hiding it, but…I just wanna be _me_ when I meet him, y’know? I think…I think after the haircut will be good enough. I also kinda wanna surprise him, so I’m torn between telling him now and telling him later,” he explained. Beverly nodded.

“That makes perfect sense. Well, it’s a good thing the year is almost up. We’ve got an eighteenth birthday to plan _and_ a graduation party _and_ a secret moving out plan, so it’s gonna be pretty busy until June,” she said. Eddie smiled at that.

“Yeah…thanks for being such a good friend, Bev,” he said. Beverly gave him a hug and he hugged her back.

“I love you, Eddie. You’re family to me,” she said. Eddie sniffled.

“I love you too, Bev.”

Eddie’s eighteenth birthday was really cool. Stan and Bev took him down to Mike’s farm and they drank some beer that Mike snuck out from his fathers fridge. The barn was decorated with fairy lights and they had fun playing card games and singing along to the playlist Richie put together for him. Later in the night Eddie received an audio message from Richie wishing him a happy birthday and telling him how much he missed him and wished he could be there. He immediately saved it to his phone and played it again later when he snuck back into his bedroom at home.

The graduation party was an absolute mess, and Eddie hated that his mother was in charge. All of his aunts and uncles came from both his parents side, and he was forced to wear a dress and curl his hair for the entire day. By the end of the party he was surprised by how much money he was gifted, and he immediately hid the cash in his box of his documents he took from his moms room. It was hidden safely in his dresser, and he made sure to lock it with a lock only he had the key to. By the end of the party he was ready to rip off his dress and bury himself in Richie’s hoodie before finally drifting off to sleep and relaxing.

Graduation itself was easy. He had passed his SAT and ACT with flying colors, and he got chords for honor roll and valedictorian. Once he was done studying and attending classes, he was hanging out with Beverly and getting ready to hit the road. He kept his legal box with her because he couldn’t shake the feeling that his mother would try and take it from him so he couldn’t leave. He opened the damn box every time to make sure everything was there whenever they hung out. Beverly was trying to get him to relax, but she understood he wouldn’t be able to fully relax until he was completely out of the state. 

“Are you still trying to surprise Richie?” Beverly asked as she tried to fit the last of her bags in the trunk. Eddie really didn’t have as much as she did, but he was leaving close to everything behind. All his hair clips and his girl clothes. His furniture and his pictures. All except a photograph of himself with his dad when he was a baby and his favorite blanket. 

“I think so…I still don’t feel great about not coming out to him, but…maybe I’ll tell him after we alternate,” Eddie told her. 

It was four in the morning and Beverly was in no state to drive. They planned for Eddie to start the drive since he was a morning person, and then Bev would take over later in the morning. They had to leave so early so Eddie could sneak out. He had already traded his smart phone in for an iPod touch so he wouldn’t have to rely on his mother’s phone plan. It was also a good idea because she couldn’t call him no matter how hard she tried. 

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be happy to talk to you at all. We’ve been so busy packing he texted _me_ to ask if you’re okay,” she said. Eddie nodded and climbed into the car.

“That sounds like Richie.”

Eddie drove for about four hours straight before they took their first stop. They had breakfast in a diner in Vermont, and ordered lunch to go since it was a bit cheaper than the food in New York. After they finished their meal Beverly gladly took over for Eddie. She had taken a power nap while he was driving, so she was a lot more energized than she was earlier that morning. Eddie thankfully sat in the passenger seat and took an hour or so to rest his eyes before opening his new iPod and tapping into the chat room. Beverly turned on her WiFi hotspot and Eddie was instantly connected to the one guy he was so desperate to talk to. Of course he had already message Eddie hours ago.

Trashmouth: hey Eds. I heard Bevy is leaving today so I just wanted to check up on you

Trashmouth: it probably sucks to see a friend leave but it’s for the best. I promise I’ll take good care of her in queens

Eddie_Kasper: thanks Richie. Yeah I’ll miss her, but she’ll be a lot happier spreading her wings out there

Trashmouth: he lives! Damn you were a sleep for a while. I don’t think I remember you ever waking up after eight

Eddie_Kasper: I had a late night helping Bev pack

Trashmouth: Ah that makes sense

Trashmouth: even the spaghetti man needs his beauty sleep

Eddie_Kasper: I kinda wanted to tell you something though

Trashmouth: what’s up my beautiful little sunflower baby honey bunny?

Eddie_Kasper: Jesus how do you come up with these?

Trashmouth: I’m just speaking from the heart Eds.

Eddie_Kasper: I hate that one the most

Trashmouth: you love it bb ;*

Trashmouth: so what did you want to say?

Eddie smiled at the first message and then frowned at the second one. Something didn’t feel right about trying to tell Richie that he was trans over a text message. Maybe he should wait until they meet face to face…or maybe he should call on Beverly’s phone instead? But the phone would probably distort his voice and make it sound even more feminine. He bit his lip in thought and looked up at the long stretch of road again. His eyes shifted to the GPS and was relieved to see they only had a little over a couple hours left.

“I think I should tell him in person,” Eddie announced.

“I think that’s a really good idea, Eddie,” Beverly agreed. Eddie nodded.

Trashmouth: c’mon baby don’t leave me hangin

Eddie_Kasper: sorry

Eddie_Kasper: it might be better for me to tell you in person…later

Trashmouth: later? When later? In person?

Eddie_Kasper: Bev talked me into visiting her sometime this summer in Queens. I’ll tell you then

Trashmouth: YOURE GONNA BE IN QUEENS THIS SUMMER???

Trashmouth: HOLY SHIT AAAAA

Trashmouth: DO YOU KNOW WHEN??

Eddie_Kasper: not sure but soon

Eddie_Kasper: it’ll be hard sneaking past my mom

Trashmouth: I’m guessing she’ll be taking your phone afterwards too :(

Trashmouth: speaking of your phone, is everything okay? I tried to call you this morning and it didn’t go through 

Eddie_Kasper: yeah, I…traded it in for an iPod

Trashmouth: why?

Eddie_Kasper: she messes with my data a lot. I didn’t want to deal with that. I’m gonna get my own phone plan when I move out

Trashmouth: Oh okay.

Trashmouth: I’m sorry you have to deal with that

Eddie_Kasper: it’s no big deal. It’ll be worth it once I’m free lol

Trashmouth: I can’t believe I’m going to see you this summer.

Trashmouth: I wanna see you now

Trashmouth: don’t tell Bev but I’m actually hanging out with Ben rn waiting for her to arrive. We’re gonna help her unpack

Trashmouth: I wish you were in the car with her rn

Eddie smiled at that. As nervous as he was by this new information, his heart warmed up at the words Richie sent him. He self consciously pulled down the sun blocker to look at himself in the mirror. He pulled his hair out of his elastic and pulled into a low pony. His mother let him get side bangs that year, and it actually helped a lot with his dysphoria. He then pulled his hood up and was glad he decided to keep on the hoodie Richie gave him when he woke up. 

Eddie_Kasper: your secret is safe with me

Eddie_Kasper: I’ll see you as soon as I can

Trashmouth: god I can’t fucking wait. Ima kiss u on sight

Trashmouth: if that’s okay

Trashmouth: I’m just excited

Trashmouth: is it okay?

Eddie laughed a little and blushed. Beverly smiled at him.

“Excited?”

“Yeah…yeah, I am.”

Eddie_Kasper: absolutely

They were ten minutes away when Bev asked Eddie to text Ben for her. He did so and sent it with trembling hands. As they drove through the resident area Eddie kept tucking and re-tucking his hair into his hoodie. He fidgeted with his fingers and his phone as they pulled into Ben’s apartment parking space. 

“Why are you so nervous? Ben is gonna love you!” Beverly said. Eddie nodded.

“Y-yeah, uh…go ahead and go see him, I’ll start bringing stuff in,” he said. 

Beverly nodded and hopped out of the car. Eddie watched her make her way to the front gates. She buzzed the intercom while Eddie picked up one of the lighter bags. Within minutes she was laughing and spinning in her boyfriends arms. Eddie looked up and smiled at the sight of the other man holding Beverly. He was pretty built, but he looked like he was still shaving off some childhood pounds. Beverly seemed to love it, and she had been dating him since before he hit the gym. When he finally let her down the front door opened again and Eddie looked down as a mess of black curls snuck up behind her. Beverly gasped as Richie covered her eyes.

“Guess who!” He said.

“Oh my god, Richard Tozier you vile man, you’ve ruined everything!” She squealed. Despite her words she was as playful as ever and sent Richie cackling as she spun to hug him.

“Damn, all I did was show up and I’ve already…” Richie trailed off as Eddie made his way over with Beverly’s duffle bag. He stopped three feet shy of his three friends and nervously cleared his throat. “…fuck, am I dreaming or something?” Richie asked. Beverly laughed and Eddie tried to hide his smile.

“Uh…hey, Rich,” Eddie greeted. His voice cracked and he wanted to disappear from the embarrassment.

The next thing Eddie knew he was being kissed. Cold pale hands cupped his face, and he was being pulled eagerly against Richie’s chest. The kiss itself was warm and very nice, and it was followed by pecks all over his face and his forehead and then he was finally held in place as Richie stared down at him with wide eyes. Those sweet eyes that Eddie remembered seeing for the first time on his smartphone in sophomore year. All he could do was stand there as Richie started going off.

“Oh my god you’re so much cuter in person, holy fuck, and you’re fucking _tiny_ too. Shit, I could throw you over my shoulder and carry you home right now. What the fuck are you doing here holy shit,” he rambled. Eddie smiled and then felt the duffle bag slip from his fingers. Ben took it from him with the rest of Beverly’s things with him and started carrying it upstairs in one trip. That was a bit much…

“Let me get my stuff, and…we can talk upstairs,” he spoke quietly and shyly, but Richie heard him clear as day.

“Of course my spaghetti man! Let’s get going,” he grinned and tugged his hand over to the car. 

Richie carried Eddie’s smaller duffle bag and backpack while Eddie clutched his legal box to his chest. They walked up to the gates Beverly held for them, and they held it for her so she could lock up her car. When they made it up to Ben’s apartment he already had Bev’s things on his bed in the bedroom, and he looked as if he was continuing cooking something from earlier. Richie immediately pulled Eddie down with him in Ben’s love seat, and Eddie squeaked with bright red cheeks when he found himself in the lap of the man who has been wooing him for the past two or three years.

“I honestly really can’t believe you’re here. I’m like worried I’m gonna wake up soon,” Richie said as he wrapped his arms around Eddie tight. Eddie held his arms to his chest when he remembered he wasn’t wearing his binder, and then tried to turn his head away when Richie leaned in for another kiss. “What’s up sweetheart? Does my breath stink? Ben makes a mean cup of coffee lemme tell ya.”

“N…no, I just…um…” he glanced up at Beverly, but she was quickly making her way to the kitchen as Richie rubbed his shoulder.

“Is this about what you wanted to tell me earlier?” Richie asked. 

Eddie blinked up at him. His eyes were so sincere and his face was pinched with concern. God, his face was so handsome too. That and the way his hair fell in every direction and the way his glasses framed his face perfectly. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss him on the lips, and so he did ever so gently and ever so shyly. It was short, and when he pulled back Richie only smiled at him widely. He was so cute.

“Now _that_ was adorable,” he said and leaned in for another. Eddie allowed one more before he put a hand on Richie’s chest to push him back a little. “Sorry. I’m just so excited.”

“I’m so nervous,” Eddie admitted. Richie reached for Eddie’s hand over his chest and squeezed it affectionately.

“That’s okay, baby. I’m just…fuck, I’m so happy to see you.” Eddie sighed.

“I’m happy to see you too,” he said. Richie noticed his nervous pout and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Eddie bit his lip, and then pulled his hand away so he could pull down his hood. He then reached back and let his hair down. The long brown locks fell over his shoulder and he looked up at Richie with sad eyes.

“Richie, I’m trans,” he said. Richie blinked at him with wide eyes, but it was purely from the shock of seeing his hair down for the first time.

“Holy _shit_ Eds, your hair is so fucking _long_ ,” he said hesitantly reaching to touch at the ends a little.

“Richie, did you hear me?” Eddie deadpanned. Richie nodded.

“Yeah, uh…I heard you.”

“Are you…a-are you okay with that?” Eddie stuttered. Richie nodded harder.

“Yeah, of course I am. I just didn’t realize your hair was _so_ fucking long,” Richie said.

“Not for long, it’s not!” Beverly announced as she walked in with a pair of shears.

“Bevs! Look at Eddie’s hair! It’s like a waterfall,” Richie pointed at the brown strands, and Eddie wanted to shy away from the attention.

“Yup, and we’re gonna chop it,” Beverly said.

“R-right now?” Eddie asked. Beverly nodded and tugged the nice carpet out of the way. 

“Ben’s almost done with dinner so we need to get started. C’mon Eddie. Let’s chop this mane,” she called as she looked for a chair in the kitchen. She came back out and Eddie was just getting himself out of the loveseat with Richie. She plopped him down in the chair and let him take off his hoodie before she started chopping.

“First slice!” Bev shouted. 

Eddie covered his face as she cut a section from the back. The sound of the scissors working through the section of hair was like music to his ears, and he uncovered his eyes in time to see the chunk plop down in his lap. He smiled at it and picked it up before glancing over a Richie. The other boy was filming it on his phone, and he looked up from the screen to smile back at him. 

Thirty minutes later Eddie was considerably less hairy and food was ready. He helped Bev clean up the floor and brushed off all the little hairs before tugging his hood back on from before. Once everything was settled Richie stood up and pulled him into a warm hug.

“Miss Marsh didn’t do too bad,” Richie said before kissing the top of his head. Eddie blushed and held onto the sides of Richie’s jacket.

“I asked my friend who went to beauty school how to do a men’s cut, and she gave me all the pointers I needed. I don’t think we’ll even need to get it cleaned up tomorrow,” she said admiring her work on the back of Eddie’s head.

“Yeah…wait, you asked your friend? Like ahead of time?” Richie asked. 

“Uh…”

“How long have you been planning this trip with Eds? Isn’t his mom gonna kill him when he goes back home?” He asked. Bev and Ben looked at him with wide eyes and then down at Eddie. Richie looked down at Eddie as well, but the other boy was looking at the ground.

“Um…I’m kinda…never going back there,” Eddie told him.

“Holy shit, really?” Eddie nodded. “Fuck, that’s so amazing.”

“Yeah, um…” Eddie finally looked up at Richie and nearly melted under the man’s loving and excited gaze. “…I’m staying here in Queens for the summer…and then I’m starting my first term at NYU this fall,” he announced. The pure joy that split across Richie’s face took him off guard, and he was suddenly scooped up in another hug.

“Eddie spaghetti you have my whole heart in your hands right now!” He said while tackling him to the couch.

“Ack! Richie! You fucking psycho!” Eddie squealed.

“He’s your psycho now, Eddie,” Beverly pointed out.

“Fuck…Ugh…” Eddie groaned as Richie squeezed him tightly.

“Oh my god I can’t wait until we’re living on campus together. Wait, do you think they’ll room us together?” Richie asked pushing himself up. Eddie grunted as he propped himself on his elbow.

“I doubt it. Not unless they assign guys and girls together,” he grumbled. Richie frowned.

“Wha-“

“I had to register as a female…because that’s what’s on my birth certificate,” he told everyone shamefully.

“I mean…that’s…that _sucks_ , but…it’s okay,” Richie clearly didn’t know how to respond. “We’ll just…ah shit, Eds. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay…I just…I wish things were different.”

“It’s okay, Eddie. I’m sure they’ll room you with someone very nice. This is New York for Christ’s sake. One of the most diverse cities in America,” Beverly said crouching next to Eddie on the couch. He nodded and smiled. Richie mouthed a “thank you” and Beverly smiled while rubbing Eddie’s shoulders.

“If you guys want to eat _warm_ food, then you might wanna get to the kitchen,” Ben said. At that Eddie’s stomach growled and Beverly laughed.

“Cute cute cute!” Richie said and kissed Eddie’s cheek.

After they all ate they started helping Bev and Eddie unpack. Ben cleared a space for her in his closet and his dresser, and since Eddie was only staying there for the summer he was saddled with the couch until he moved into the dorm. With full bellies and an organized apartment, they gathered around Ben’s TV and flicked it on to a random cooking channel. Richie cuddled Eddie on the couch, and Ben and Beverly shared the loveseat while Good Eats reruns played. 

Eddie couldn’t stop reaching up and running his fingers through his newly cut hair, and every time he did they were accompanied by much longer ones running over the back of his head. Eventually his fingers ventured into Richie’s hair, and he smiled as the other boy leaned his head on his chest. The hoodie covered him enough to not make him uncomfortable with it, and instead he merely enjoyed the feeling of Richie so close to him.

“We’re basically just chilling on your bed right now. Isn’t that kinda naughty?” Richie whispered. Eddie wrinkled his nose at that.

“Ew, don’t fucking say that ever again,” he groaned. Richie chuckled and kissed the side of his head.

“You smell so clean. Do you like bathe in hand sanitizer?” The dark haired boy asked as he nuzzled into Eddie’s neck.

“No, but I carry a bottle incase I touch some shit stain like you,” Eddie mumbled while watching the show.

“Ooohhhh, you’ve been holding _back_ all these years, haven’t you?” Richie said pulling back to smile at him. Eddie blushed.

“Eddie is much more eloquent online because he has more time to think and stop the swear words from coming out,” Beverly said. Richie and Ben laughed at that, and Eddie merely blushed deeper. He then felt lips against his ear and shivered as Richie breathed.

“Okay, I’m a fan of the short hair. I get to see the blush on your ears too now,” he hummed. Eddie bit his lip and shook his head in hopes to get Richie to back up. It worked a little, but he merely nuzzled deeper against his neck.

“Watch the fucking show asshole.”

From that day on Richie spent every day possible of that summer with Eddie. He showed him his home and introduced him to his parents, and then he took him around Queens, and then into New York City itself. They toured the NYU campus together and even asked administrating where they would be put. They were told it should show up in their emails, and then went on their merry way. Richie took him to museums and central park and Times Square. Everyday there was something new to do, and everyday Eddie was amazed that Richie was so okay with everything. He felt a little guilty for putting everything off for so long, but he didn’t have a lot of time to think about it between the touring and the kissing and the cuddling.

“What are you thinking about, spaghetti?” Richie asked as they laid in his bed. Richie’s parents let Eddie sleep over pretty often after hearing that he was sleeping on a couch nearly every night. Eddie snuggled closer to him under the sheets.

“I’m just nervous about tomorrow,” he confessed. Richie smiled.

“That’s okay. We’re all gonna be there with you at the clinic, and it’ll be over before you know it,” Richie assured him. Eddie nodded and looked down to his chest. His fingers were curled in Richie’s sleep shirt and he couldn’t help but want to pull him even closer.

“I’m really sorry, Richie,” he whispered.

“What for?” Richie asked. Eddie bit his lip.

“I was just…I was so in my own head, and…I wish we would’ve met sooner, but I felt so awful all the time-“

“Hey, baby…no, you met me when you were ready, okay? Maybe we both wanted to meet sooner, but wanting is different when you’re not ready for it. You weren’t, and I’m okay with that,” Richie assured him. Eddie then pouted.

“I feel like I’ve been lying to you until now…and I was worried you wouldn’t recognize me, or that you’d be upset with me maybe…”

“Oh, never. I could never be mad at you about something like that. Eddie, I care about you so much. Whatever you need to feel comfortable is more than okay with me,” Richie whispered. Eddie nodded and felt their foreheads touch. When did they get so close?

“Okay…”

“I’ve been so much happier ever since you came here. I can’t believe I have you to myself for the next four years,” Richie hummed.

“Uh, maybe not _all_ to yourself. I still have other friends and classes to go to,” Eddie reminded him. Richie laughed and pulled their bodies flushed against each other.

“Not if I have any say in it,” he murmured before kissing him deeply. Eddie let a slight hum slip from his throat as Richie held him tightly, and moved his hands from Richie’s chest to his hair. “Is this okay?” He asked. Eddie nodded.

“Yeah, it’s…it’s more than okay,” he replied.

“Can I do more?” Richie asked. Eddie blushed and then nodded. He gasped softly as an unsuspecting knee nudged it’s way between Eddie’s thighs, and he willed himself to calm down as Richie gently stroked his face with his thumb. “You let me know when I should stop, okay baby?” Richie spoke over his lips.

“Okay…”

After that Richie was kissing him again, and Eddie was absolutely useless when Richie kissed him. His body might as well be warm bubblegum, and his eyes were always so heavy from the lust Richie inspired within him. Hands cautiously touched down Eddie’s sides, and then they settled on his hips as he pushed his leg up more. Eddie gasped again when Richie’s leg pressed up between his, but this time it was accompanied by a shiver. Richie moved his hands to Eddie’s waist, and then gently pushed their hips together and ate up every sliver of a sound that passed through his lips.

“Richie…” Eddie huffed.

“You’re so amazing, baby. Tell me, does that feel god?” Richie asked as he pushed Eddie’s body down his leg and then back up it. The other boy let out a shy and quiet moan before nodding.

“Yes…I like the way you touch me,” he responded starting to sound desperate.

“I like the way you react to me. You’re so sexy, Eddie,” Richie whispered to him. Eddie whimpered, trying to stay quiet considering the fact that Richie was down the hall from his parents.

“Richie…baby…ah…” Eddie moaned as Richie continued grinding him on his leg. Richie groaned and kissed him hard.

“Fuck, I love it when you call me baby,” he breathed. Eddie merely kissed him back and held on to him tightly. “I have a confession to make,” he said.

“I dunno if this is a good time for that,” Eddie panted. “I don’t really want you to ruin the mood.”

“Harsh words, spaghetti baby. I’m hurt,” Richie pouted as he slowed the drag of Eddie’s hips against his thigh. Eddie clenched his teeth and furrowed his brow.

“Fine, what is it?” He huffed.

“There was actually a couple times I did look at your selfies with one hand,” Richie admitted. Eddie groaned. He hoped it sounded like he was annoyed, but he couldn’t deny that he liked that.

“You’re so gross,” Eddie said. Richie chuckled and then kissed him on the mouth. He pushed his thigh up and Eddie felt like his body was molten lava. “Fuck, Richie…”

“I couldn’t help it sometimes. I just wanted to _touch_ you. _Hold_ you. I couldn’t stop thinking about _this_. I wanna make you feel so _good_ ,” Richie whispered as he held his hips. Eddie whimpered.

“You make me feel good,” he replied.

“Yeah?” Eddie nodded. “I wanna make you cum.” The smaller boy moaned and then buried his face into Richie’s chest.

“Fuck…” he gasped. Those strong hands moving his hips causing more friction between his legs before touching up his waist again. 

“Can I touch you?” Richie asked. Eddie presses his lips into a tight line. He was already in a weird place mentally where he felt more barely more sexy than dysphoric, but he was turned on enough to crave the release Richie wanted to give him. He nodded and then guided his hand over his boxers.

“Don’t…don’t go under…just touch like this,” Eddie whispered. Richie nodded and kissed him sweetly before rubbing his fingers against the fabric. The freckled boy moaned a little louder, and clung to Richie’s chest as he rubbed harder.

“God, you’re so perfect…wanna eat you up…” Richie muttered between kisses.

“Then do it,” Eddie sighed. Richie kissed down his neck and pushed Eddie into his fingers until he started rocking his hips himself.

“Fuck, baby…look at you go.”

With that Eddie was slowly coming undone on Richie’s fingers. He let his eyes roll back as Richie held his waist with his free hand. His hips came to a slow stop, and his legs twitched as Richie continued his gentle rubbing. Eddie eventually pulled his wrist away and caught his breath as Richie kissed his neck. His body felt gelatinous, and his head was fuzzy as the other man held him tightly. He could feel Richie’s erection against his thigh, and summoned the strength to move it. Apparently that’s all it really took.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Eddie babe,” Richie groaned as his hips stuttered.

“Christ, Rich, did you just cum?” Eddie against. Richie groaned again, but this time out of embarrassment as he hid his face in Eddie’s neck.

“Yeah…sorry…you’re just really hot and I’m really pent up,” Richie told him. Eddie ran his fingers through black curls and smiled.

“You should change your boxers,” he cooed. Richie groaned a third time, but it was now out of defiance. Eddie giggled as Richie pushed himself up, and let him kiss his forehead before getting up and walking to his dresser.

“You are a dangerous man, Eddie Kasper,” he hummed as he unabashedly changed his underwear in front of Eddie. He was facing his dresser, and when he turned back around he was delighted to see the tickled grin on Eddie’s face.

“It’s Kaspbrak,” he said gently. Richie’s mouth twitched into a smile.

“Hopefully it’ll be Tozier,” he said before crawling back under the sheets. Eddie blushed at that.

“Or maybe you’ll be Richard Kaspbrak,” Eddie hummed. Richie smiled at that.

“I mean…Stan has a point. Twinks have rights,” he said. Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Are you calling me a twink?” He asked incredulously.

“Am I calling you a young and beautiful gay man? Absolutely,” Richie grinned. Eddie lightly slapped his shoulder.

“ _Not_ the definition of a twink,” he scolded. Richie laughed and Eddie couldn’t help but giggle with him. Their hands found each other and it didn’t take long for their fingers to knot together.

“I’m so excited for you. Tomorrow is a really big step,” Richie whispered. Eddie smiled wide at that.

“It’s a little hard to believe…I mean, I knew I needed hormones the second I heard about them. The fact that my first T shot is tomorrow almost feels like a dream.”

“It’s real, baby,” Richie assured him. Eddie sighed.

“I wish I had been honest with you at the start…I was so in my own head, and…I let it take over my life,” Eddie said.

“That’s why you needed to do this now. Your mother was suffocating you, baby. Of course you’re not gonna thrive in that situation,” Richie assured him.

“You’re too forgiving…I made you cry…and I kept saying no when I wanted to say yes. I even lied about that one time on the bus for Christ’s sake,” he admitted. Richie’s eyes went wide and Eddie sighed.

“I knew that was you! I knew you guys were lying to me! How could you think I wouldn’t be able to pick you out of a crowd? Holy shit, Eds!” He rambled.

“Keep if down, you idiot,” Eddie hissed.

“Idiot? Aw, sweetheart, are you getting soft on me?” He teased. Eddie shook his head smiling before kissing him to shut him up. He really was simply an idiot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty soft ngl

Eddie nervously bounced his leg in the nurses office. He had Richie’s hand clasped tightly in his, and Beverly rubbing his back as they waited for the nurse to come in to show Eddie how to do his shot on himself. His brain was going a million miles a minute, and he was grateful to have Bev and Richie with him. Richie kissed his temple in an attempt to distract him, but Eddie couldn’t shake the nerves.

“You okay, Eds? It’s not too late to do the gel,” Richie asked. Beverly nodded.

“We can pitch in if it’s too expensive right now,” Beverly assured him. Eddie shook his head.

“No, I just…” he stressfully ran his fingers through his hair. “I dunno…w…what if this is a mistake?”

“Eds, you’ve wanted this since middle school,” Beverly reminded him.

“I know…but-“

“Eddie, you were going to get this off the _black market_ if I didn’t talk some sense into you,” she continued.

“Geez, Eds. Mad respect,” Richie said. Eddie rolled his eyes at him and shook his head again.

“I’m just…worried.”

“It’s a big deal, Eddie. It’s okay to be worried. That doesn’t mean it’s not right for you,” Beverly assured him. Eddie stared at the ground until he realized Richie was waiting for him to look back at him. When their eyes connected Richie frowned.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Because of course he knew there was more to it. Eddie crumbled immediately.

“My mom…she’d hate this…I-I-“

“Your mom doesn’t live in your body, babe. This is for you. Not her,” he spoke so carefully that Eddie wanted to just melt into him like the previous night. 

“What if…what-“

“Hey, trust me when I say you’re _not_ the helpless little kid that woman convinced you you were. You _know_ what you need, and you _don’t_ need her to approve of it,” Richie said. Eddie sighed and visibly relaxed. It was like he was waiting for permission not to care, and the minute he felt that relief Richie smiled.

“Richie’s right, Eddie. You’ve known for a long time. She just didn’t let you be yourself. Now you can,” Beverly added. Eddie turned his head and smiled at her too.

“Thanks guys…I dunno what I’d do without you both.”

It wasn’t long after that when the nurse finally arrived. The shot took less than a minute to do, and Eddie picked it up quickly with how attentive he was. He went back to the apartment that day with his first vial of testosterone and a pep in his step knowing he was finally moving forward with his life.

There was another few months left to their summer, and so far it was better than anything Eddie could’ve imagined. Not only was he amazed by the city, while simultaneously disgusted by the public transportation and general filth of the streets, but he was pleasantly surprised by how nice it felt to finally be surrounded with people who loved and supported him. Stan and Bill had plans to visit them before they started at their own universities, and just knowing that they would both travel so far just to see Eddie and love him for who he was almost made him cry. He kept in touch with Mike, but he wouldn’t be able to afford to see Eddie until he was out of college and financially stable. Still, his desire to see Eddie in the first place was all he needed to feel the love.

Above all, the nicest feeling was Richie. It wasn’t just Eddie’s new found need for physical affection that was finally being quenched, but it was also just the _feeling_ of being around him. He was less so an extra body in Ben and Beverly’s apartment, and more so an additional member between their place and Richie’s parents house. He preferred to shower at Richie’s house since he had the dimmest lights that were adjustable, and he preferred to just hang out at Ben and Bev’s because they were just so chill and okay with anything.

Richie had confessed to Eddie that his parents didn’t know he was bisexual, and therefore Eddie was welcomed over at anytime because he passed well enough they assumed he was one of Richie’s friends from school. Sure enough, first night he came over Mr and Mrs Tozier had no fucks to give about them sharing a room. It was kind of awkward when he joined them for dinner, and it was even more awkward when Richie’s mother woke them up and he realized Richie’s arms were tight around his waist. He’d sheepishly pry them off and nervously joke about how clingy Richie naturally was while hoping she didn’t notice the slight bump of his sports bra under his shirt.

“You need to fucking loosen up when we’re asleep, you fucking idiot,” Eddie said as they waited at the Newark airport. 

Stan and Bill were both going to universities out of their home states, so they decided to rent out an Airbnb for a couple weeks down in New York before splitting off. Bill was staying in New York and Stan was going down to Georgia State University. He said he had family down there who wanted to pay for his college, and he would’ve been an idiot to deny free college no matter how hick the state is.  
  
“Now, why would I do that? You’re so easy to hold on to,” Richie said in his usual I-never-take-anything-seriously tone. Eddie rolled his eyes but tried to bite back his smile.

“It’s just awkward to explain when your mom walks in on her apparently heterosexual son spooning his apparently heterosexual platonic friend,” Eddie snarked.

“It’s totally chill, baby,” Richie cooed and kissed the top of his head.

“What makes you so confident? You’re always passed out, fuck-nut. All you have to deal with is how grumpy I am afterwards. You don’t even see the weird looks she keeps fucking giving me,” Eddie rambled. Richie’s tongue darted out to lick his lips, but the skin was so dry he ended up sucking on it. He wasn’t good. “Richie…”

“Everything is fine. I…I told her I have nightmares,” Richie assured him.

“Do you?” Richie hesitated before shaking his head.

“No…not really…I guess…” he sighed and closed his eyes. He pushed his fingers under his glasses and rubbed where the plastic usually sat perched on his bridge. “I know I sleep better with you around. Noticed it when we started calling each other and falling asleep. I always miss your breathing…your heartbeat…your snoring is still adorable, and uh…I’m just so excited about everything. You hype me up, but at the same time I can’t relax without you.”

“Do you have insomnia? Like the chronic shit?” Eddie asked leaning his head on Richie’s shoulder. Long pale fingers moved through his hair and Eddie eagerly welcomed the affection.

“Yeah, that’s why my mom only comes to wake me up in the afternoon. If I’m awake that’s great, but she’s always there at that time incase I couldn’t fall asleep until nine or ten.” Richie explained. Eddie blinked slowly.

“That’s so strange. You fall asleep so fast when I spend the night,” he remembered. Richie smiled at that and then kissed Eddie’s temple.

“That’s because you’re spending the night.”

Meeting Bill for the first time was kind of crazy. Eddie instantly recognized Stan from across the airport, and was so happy to see him hand in hand with their friend. Bill has such a smile to him, and the pictures didn’t do it justice at all. His eyes were warm, and his rusty hair looked so good next to Stanley’s curls. Eddie instantly hopped out of the waiting area, and ran towards his friends with Richie trailing behind. The couple let go of their hands so Stan could catch Eddie in a hug, and Bill accepted Richie’s fist bump.

“Holy shit, Eddie, you’re fucking hair,” Stan laughed. Eddie pulled away with a big smile.

“You like it? Bev cut it a couple months ago. She says she should trim it again soon,” he told him.

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize you have curly hair. It’s always been so long and pulled back I didn’t even notice,” he said.

“That and my mom is fucking crazy with the heat tools. I swear she was obsessed with straightening and curling the shit out of it,” Eddie complained.

“Shit, could nothing satisfy that woman? Your hair is perfect the way it is,” Richie said and wrapped his arms around Eddie from behind. He kissed the top of Eddie’s head, and then rested his chin where his lips once were.

“S-she went k-k-kinda crazy after Eddie l-left,” Bill informed them. Stan nodded in agreement.

“She tried to file you missing, but like everyone in town knew she was fucking crazy. Since you’re eighteen and you took personal belongings the police just decided you upped and left and let it go,” Stan told them.

“Jesus Christ. If they took her seriously then I would definitely be locked in my room right now enrolling in Derry Community College,” Eddie said with a wrinkled nose.

“Nope, I wouldn’t let that happen,” Richie responded promptly. Bill chuckled.

“G-glad to see you two haven’t r-r-ripped each other apart since meeting,” he said with a grin. Eddie blushed and hugged the arms around him.

“Did we tell you how it went down?” Richie asked. Bill shook his head.

“N-no, I’ve been offline a lot p-preparing for school,” he replied.

“What a coincidence. We’ve been offline a lot too, but we’ve just been sticking our tongues down each others throats,” Richie said with a smirk. Eddie elbowed him, and Richie hissed. “ _Fuck_ , you’re just a fucking pile of sharp corners.”

“And you’re just a fucking pig you fuck nut.”

“I’m doing _what_ to a pig?”

“Rich, I swear to god-“

“And there we are. I was wondering what was missing,” Stan interrupted. The four of them laughed before Richie nodded his head towards the exit.

“Lets get you guys to your Airbnb. Bev is in the car.”

The Airbnb was a ways away from the airport, but close enough to Bev’s and Richie’s that they didn’t mind suffering through the hot summer traffic. Sure, it would’ve been nice if Bev’s car had AC, but she also bought it herself using her baby sitting money and subtly stealing from her old man over the years. When they finally arrived the gang helped get the couple settled, and hung out for a couple hours before heading back home for the night. Ben was home from work when Bev and Eddie walked in, and Richie needed to be home for dinner with his parents.

That night Eddie and Richie messaged each other for hours over the app. He still hadn’t gotten a phone, but he wasn’t too worried about it yet. Still, he missed being able to call Richie and hear his voice, and now that he was alone on the couch again and not in Richie’s bed he only then realized how much he might’ve started to take it for granted.

Trashmouth: I wish I was there

Trashmouth: my parents brought you up over dinner tonight

Eddie frowned at that confession.

Eddie_Kasper: what did they say?

Trashmouth: they asked if we were serious or anything more than friends

Eddie_Kasper: …and?

Usually Richie wasn’t this hard to get information out of. It was Eddie that took multiple messages to pry it out of, but Richie rarely withheld shit.

Trashmouth: I dunno

Trashmouth: I kinda panicked and told them I had a girlfriend?

Trashmouth: but then I remembered my parents aren’t homophobic and said it was complicated between us

Eddie frowned again, this time furrowing his eyebrows with stress.

Eddie_Kasper: is it?

Eddie_Kasper: complicated I mean

Trashmouth: no no I’m just dumb

Trashmouth: I’ve got a bit of a hang up about… myself and my sexuality

Eddie_Kasper: how so?

Trashmouth: fuck I hate not like actually speaking to you

Trashmouth: I’m worried I’m gonna fuck it up typing it out like this

Eddie_Kasper: I think Bev is still awake. I can ask to borrow her phone

Trashmouth: no need bby I’m omw

A sigh left Eddie’s lips. Of course he would just randomly decide to come over. That’s how Richie functioned, and he was adjusting to the fact that Richie really was at arms length now. It was a little annoying, but he also couldn’t help but smile thinking about him slipping on his vans and sneaking out of the house just to see him four blocks over. He decided to get up and waddle over to Bev and Ben’s room, and was thankful to see Ben in the kitchen before having to knock and potentially interrupt something. He peeked his head in and instantly caught Ben’s eye.

“Richie said he’s on his way over,” he told him. Ben nodded and smiled. He was as warm and friendly as ever, and easily one of Eddie’s new favorite people. He was just so selfless and level headed. He brought a nice balance to everything.

“Sounds good. Tell him kitchen is off limits. Bev and I get paid on the same days, so there’s no weekly grocery shopping,” he said as he continued typing what Eddie assumed to be a shopping list on his phone. 

Eddie nodded and padded to the front door to slip on his own shoes. Before he could open the door he got another message from Richie, but he just assumed it said he was there so he walked out of the apartment instead of open it. By the time he got to the bottom floor he had gotten a couple more messages, and he rolled his eyes as he opened the front door to see Richie texting him from behind the gate. He looked up at Eddie and smiled as the other boy kept a playful pout on his lips.

“You’re not funny,” Eddie said as he tugged the gate open. Richie immediately greeted him with a kiss, and Eddie had to grab the front of his shirt to stay steady.

“I missed you,” he said so softly. Eddie blinked up at him and reached on his tippy-toes to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“Idiot,” he muttered and then tugged him inside with him. 

Richie laughed, but followed him up the stairs until they got back to the apartment and walked in. Ben has returned to his bedroom by then, and Eddie was immediately picked up and hauled over to the couch. He tried his best not to shout since his friends were only a door and twenty feet away, but he couldn’t help a little squeak when Richie tackled him under his blankets. 

“Oh _hell_ yes. You’re so soft, so small, so _perfect_ , Eddie baby,” Richie hummed as he nuzzled against his neck. Eddie giggled and held Richie against his chest between his legs.

“ _I’m_ small? More like you’re fucking huge, dude,” Eddie replied. 

Richie nodded in agreement and brought their hands together to compare. They both had pretty skinny limbs, but Richie’s fingers easily dwarfed Eddie’s. The pale digits so long and boney that Eddie had a hard time believing that was normal. Still, he loved every little hair and each knuckle regardless.

“Cute cute cute,” Richie hummed and clasped their hands before kissing the back of Eddie’s hand.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Mmm…”

“Are you gonna finish telling me what you started telling me over the chat room?” Eddie asked. Richie avoided looking at him by wriggling closer against Eddie’s neck and wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Hm?”

“About dinner with your parents? Something about your sexuality?” Eddie said hoping to jog his memory.

“Oh right, I’m…Eddie Kaspbrak-sexual…I am only sexually attracted to sir Eddie Kasp-“ Eddie flicked his ear and Richie jolted up at the pain. “ _Ow!_ Holy shit, my darling.”

“Beep beep, Richie. Stop being a puss,” he deadpanned. Richie sighed and pushed himself up more to look down at Eddie.

“I don’t think I’m bisexual anymore. I think…I think I’m fully gay, y’know?” He confessed. Eddie nodded and reached up to cup his face.

“Yeah…it’s hard coming to terms about yourself,” Eddie whispered.

“I just…I thought that because I was indifferent about girls that I wouldn’t mind dating them, and I dated like a _lot_ of girls. I’m talking like eighty-si-“

“Beep beep, asshole,” Eddie interrupted. Richie smiled.

“Aw, are you jealous?” He teased leaning down. Eddie quickly, but gently, smacked Richie with the hand on his cheek, and laughed when Richie pouted like a kicked puppy.

“C’mon. Keep going,” Eddie encouraged. Richie sighed.

“I dated a lot of girls, but I never dated a guy, and…Stan introduced me to the chat room, and then we started talking, and…” Richie looked down at him, his glasses threatening to slide down his nose until Eddie reached up to push them back with a smile. “No girl could _ever_ make me feel the way that you do,” he sighed. Eddie bit his lip.

“I’m sorry, Rich,” he blurted. Richie frowned, surprised by this seemingly random apology.

“Uh, the fuck? Why are _you_ fucking sorry?” Richie asked. “I’m the one who’s got internalized homophobia going on.”

“I know, but…” he sighed. “I’ve got some internalized _trans_ phobia going on, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve cheated you out of the gay experience,” Eddie confessed. Richie looked like that sentence slapped him in the face with a slice of bologna.

“What? Why? Because you’re not a cis guy?” He questioned. Eddie sighed.

“I was born a woman, Richie. I only just got on hormones, and I didn’t even have short hair when we finally met. I was just…I was basically just like any other gi-“

“Okay, Eddie, stop. Please, I’m gonna cry over how much that doesn’t fucking matter,” Richie interrupted. Eddie pouted and Richie shook his head. “Eddie, you’re so amazing… I like you the way you are, and no matter how much you change I’ll still like you for who you are. The way you look…the length of your hair…it’s all dumb shit. Like, dude, my hair is way longer than yours right now,” Richie said. Eddie laughed a little and reached to run his fingers through the black curls. Richie leaned into his touch with appreciation and then smiled wide.

“You should grow it out,” Eddie whispered. Richie grinned.

“Eddie baby, my darling, my sunshine, my sunflower, I’d just about do _anything_ for you. I’ll tell my mom to cancel my haircut this weekend,” Richie said. Eddie giggled again and Richie couldn’t resist leaning down and kissing him sweetly. “And, for the record, I think this is pretty fucking gay as it is. I don’t feel cheated out of anything. I just…” Richie paused and sighed before kissing Eddie again.

“Rich…” Eddie whispered when they split.

“I just feel lucky. Lucky to have even met you in person. Lucky to have ever had the chance to talk to you. Lucky that I get to hold you and kiss you right now…” he demonstrated with another kiss. Eddie felt the urge to cry, but his tear ducts haven’t been listening to him ever since he started hormones. “…I never once thought this was like…different than if you would’ve been cis. I’ve always seen you as my Eddie spaghetti, and I always will.” Eddie let out a shaky breath and pouted.

“If I wasn’t on hormones right now I’d be fucking bawling right now, you dick,” he murmured. Richie laughed and leaned down to kiss his cheek.

“You’re just too cute!”

“What did you tell your parents again?”

“Oh, uh…it was along the lines of…we mean a lot to each other, but we’re not like…fucking in my bedroom,” Richie replied.

“Well…for the most part,” Eddie whispered blushing at the memories from their previous night together.

“Eddie baby, that was the _first time_ you let me touch you like that. Technically I wasn’t lying,” Richie informed him. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“You just like to bend the rules,” he hummed and wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck. 

Richie smiled and leaned down to press a slower kiss to his lips. It reminded him of last night, and Eddie instantly wanted to tug him down and melt into him all over again. The only thing that stopped him was the feeling of Richie’s tongue.

“Baby…this is Ben and Bev’s couch,” Eddie reminded him. Richie clenched his jaw.

“News flash, honey, if you’re trying to _not_ turn me on then at least avoid calling me _baby_ ,” Richie said through tight teeth. Eddie smiled sheepishly before shaking his head.

“Lets get some sleep, okay? Will you get in trouble if you stay?” Eddie asked. Richie shook his head.

“Nope. Sent a text on the way out saying I’m at Ben’s house. I told my mom earlier tonight that you help me sleep, so she’ll be understanding,” Richie told him. Eddie’s smile was soft as he pulled his head down to his chest.

“Okay…then let’s sleep,” he cooed. Richie nodded and returned his arms around Eddie’s waist.

“Goodnight, you sexy little spaghetti man,” Richie sighed. Eddie huffed a laugh before shaking his head.

“Goodnight, Richie.”

The next couple weeks were really fun. Having most of his friends within reaching distance was hard to remember, but when he did he was instantly jumping to hang out with Stan and Bill again. Just that next day they had a spontaneous brunch at the Airbnb, and Eddie felt so safe surrounded by smiles and laughs. He spent most of his time catching up with Stan and talking with Bill, but a good chunk of his time was always dedicated to bickering with Richie. It was kind of ridiculous how fast they went from the cutest couple in the room to just a gross pair of gremlins sticking their tongues out at each other from across the room.

“You and Richie are pretty serious, huh?” Stan said on the fourth day he was staying. Bill had to stop by his school to do some last minute things, Ben and Bev were at work, and Richie was doing family things but said he’d be over in an hour or two. Eddie blushed.

“I guess. I dunno, I’m just…doing what feels right,” he murmured. Stan smiled.

“You’ve changed, Eddie,” he pointed out randomly. Eddie blinked up from the puzzle he was helping Stan with and furrowed his brows.

“I have?” He questioned. Stan chuckled and nodded before fitting a piece in the side.

“You’re happier. More…free to be yourself. Less anxious all the time, and just…you’re just happy. I guess I never realized just how unhappy you were. Like I knew everything sucked, but you’re really thriving right now, man,” Stan told him. Eddie smiled.

“Really it’s because of you guys. Just being around people who love and accept me and encourage me…I never thought I’d get that, but here I am. I get to see my favorite people _everyday_ and talk to them and just exist and be myself,” Eddie said. Stan smiled.

“You’re our favorite person, too, Eddie. I hope you know that,” he spoke so gently it made Eddie feel the love all over again.

“Thanks, Stan. It means a lot to me.” Stan nodded.

“You’re definitely Richie’s favorite person,” he hummed nonchalantly. Eddie could spot the slight smirk to his face that told him everything about what Stan was thinking and rolled his eyes.

“No surprise there.”

“I’m just saying. When you first talked to him, even though all you were doing was calling him out, he called me right after he got banned and told me he was in love with you,” Stan told him. Eddie snorted.

“Wow. That’s dramatic.”

“He’s a very dramatic person,” Stan pointed out. Eddie nodded.

“That’s true.”

“I’m really glad you gave him a chance. He was really struggling there, and I can see how happy you make him,” Stan said. Eddie bit his lip.

“Yeah, he came over the other night and…I dunno if he wants you to know-“

“He’s not bisexual,” Stan announced for him. Eddie nodded. “He told me that probably a month after you moved over here. If I remember correctly he told me he was crying while he was texting me about it.”

“God, that’s so…” Eddie shook his head. He wished he could’ve hugged him at that time. Wipe his tears and never allow them to return. Richie didn’t deserve to cry.

“I’ve never seen or heard him cry. Just been told that he was crying when we were talking multiple times. He says I’m a good therapist and not a lot of people like to listen to him because he’s a jackass, and like yeah that’s a pretty solid reason. It’s not right though.” Eddie nodded in agreement.

“For a two dimensional little shit he’s got a lot of complex emotions.” Stan and Eddie laughed at that when Eddie’s phone went off.

Trashmouth: baaaaaaaybeeeeeeeee

Trashmouth: my sweet little cherub I am on my freaking way

Trashmouth: I know Stan is there but Ima kiss you xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxxoo

Eddie rolled his eyes and shook his head as he replied.

Eddie_Kasper: get over here then

“Richie’s on his way,” Eddie announced. Stan frowned and checked his own phone.

“Oh ouch,” he said.

“Huh?”

“Normally he’d text me too for anything, but uh…nope, just you,” he replied. Eddie blushed and shook his head.

“He’s probably just used to it now because you just got here,” Eddie brushed off.

“Do you think you’d say yes if he asked you to be his boyfriend?” Eddie went red hot at that.

“W-we aren’t talking about that yet!” He snapped and then drew his shoulders up defensively. Stan laughed and smiled wide.

“I’m really happy for you, Eddie,” he said fondly. Eddie sighed.

“Thanks…I’m happy for you too,” he replied. Stan took in a breath and then let it out slowly as if he were procrastinating his next words.

“I…Bill and I are splitting up after I leave,” Stan announced. Eddie’s eyes went wide.

“Holy shit, really?” Stan nodded.

“It’s just…we really like each other, and it’s nice when we can see each other in person, but…we’ve decided long distance just wouldn’t work for us anymore. We don’t…we aren’t like you and Rich or Ben and Bev. We’re…good, but not insane for each other, and he deserves someone who is crazy for him,” he explained. Eddie nodded.

“Okay…I’m sorry.” Stan shook his head.

“No need. I just wanted to let you know. We’re together until I leave, but he wanted me to have freedom, and I wanted him to have happiness,” he said. Eddie smiled.

“It sounds like you guys just really care for each other,” he acknowledged. Stan smiled back.

“Sounds like it.”

Immediately after that the door swung open, and the two guys looked back at the tall lanky mess that was Richie Tozier. He stood with a paper bag and a grin before slipping off his shoes and closing the door.

“I come baring gifts!” He announced and pulled out a packaged hostess cupcake. He tossed it to Stan and was pleased with the smile across his friends face before walking over and placing a nutty bar on Eddie’s head. “For you my darling,” he said placing a kiss next to it and then heading to the kitchen to put the bag down.

“Grocery shopping with the family?” Stan asked pulling open the package. Eddie took his own treat and did the same as he watched Richie walk back with a grin. He immediately went for Eddie, and Eddie squeaked when he practically dove into him.

“Richie! You fucking idiot! Get off me, you’re crushing my kidneys!” Eddie groaned. Richie laughed and moved them together until he could reach Eddie’s lips and pressed a big sloppy wet one to his cheek and a more chaste one to his lips.

“I told ya I’m gonna kiss you,” he reminded him. Eddie shoved Richie away and sat up blushing and adjusting his sweater.

“Yeah, _kiss_ me. Not tackle me like a fucking football star,” he snarked. Richie leaned back down to kiss his temple, and Eddie half heartedly pawed at his chest in a weak attempt to push him back. He then looked up to see Stan smiling at them half way through his first cupcake.

“What are you looking at Stanley Urine?” Richie asked as he wrapped his arms around Eddie’s head. Stan shook his head and looked down at his snack.

“I’m just glad to see you acting so stupid around Eddie in person. I wondered if you’d act that desperate in really life, and it’s honestly so much worse,” he said. Richie dropped his jaw to feign offense, and Eddie merely giggled before taking a bit from the nutty bar.

“He really said that, huh, Rich?” Eddie teased. Richie looked down at him and messed with his hair. Eddie squealed, and sank into a puddle with him as Richie peppered his face with kisses and gentle caresses.

“Don’t fuck on my floor. Bill is on his way too,” Stan deadpanned. Richie pushes himself up and pouted.

“Aw, you guys don’t wanna watch?” He whined. Eddie smacked his chest and bolted up bright red.

“Oh my god, you’re disgusting,” Eddie groaned and walked to the kitchen for some water. Stan and Richie laughed together, and Eddie smiled at them. Another week and a half of this sounded really nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify, Richie’s parents aren’t homophobic or transphobic. I don’t know much about them tbh but from what I’ve heard from ppl who read the book they’re supportive of Richie. I’m not quite sure how to approach writing them so I think they’d be kinda strict and very particular(TM)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of hormones and talking about sex.
> 
> (Some internalized transphobia in the chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little hiatus. Got busy with studying.

“Damn, you really lucked out getting a single dorm,” Richie said splayed out on Eddie’s new bed. Eddie looked up from his desk he was currently organizing and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it only took two transphobes and one homophobe to get a room to myself,” Eddie replied a little bitterly. Richie pushed himself up on his elbows.

“How fucking dumb is that? You’re fine with a trans person, but you’ll draw the line at being gay? Other way around too! But they were also homophobic when I came in,” Richie rambled. Eddie laughed a little and got up to give Richie a sweet kiss.

“Thanks for helping me and standing up for me. I wouldn’t have gotten this without you,” he said. Richie smiled and took his hand in his.

“Of course, my little Eddie spaghetti, I’d do anything for you,” he cooed. 

Eddie blushed and leaned down to kiss him on the lips. Richie accepted the affection immediately, and took one hand away so he could cup Eddie’s cheek. Eddie pulled back with a smile and then turned to return to his organizing. He could feel Richie’s eyes on him the minute he was facing away, and felt his blush get deeper when the feeling didn’t go away.

For the first time since they met, Richie and Eddie had an entire room to themselves. Sure there was some privacy in Richie’s bed room, but it didn’t have the same feeling as Eddie’s dorm. Richie’s parents could’ve walked in at any moment. Eddie had a lock.

Sex wasn’t something they talked a lot about. It was more so mentioned in passing. Richie was sexually attracted to Eddie, and Eddie was sexually attracted to Richie. They made sex jokes and flirted, and engaged in a sad amount of dry humping for how attracted they were to each other. Richie was respectful of Eddie’s boundaries, but Eddie wasn’t so sure of what those boundaries were. The few times they rubbed each other off with their own bodies, like the horny teenagers they were, they didn’t have a very clear discussion after. Richie would always ask for permission and check in along the way, but Eddie wasn’t so sure what else was in store for them. Also Eddie had next to no idea what sex was like, so the dry humping felt safe for the time being.

Now it felt like it should be addressed. Along with Eddie’s shiny new dorm room came a giant elephant, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the longer he was alone with Richie in it. It’s not like he didn’t want to talk about it, but it was more like he had no clue what he was doing and felt awkward talking about it. That combined with the dysphoria of thinking about being undressed around _anybody_ was stressing him out. He never wanted anyone to see him like that. It wasn’t really him.

Eddie was suddenly pulled from his thoughts when he felt kisses against his nape and arms around his waist. He smiled at the chasteness, and then tilted his head to welcome Richie’s lips more so on the side of his neck. The other man kissed under Eddie’s ear, and his breath made him shiver. It felt good…

“You’re cute when you’re focused,” Richie hummed. His voice so close sending a slight tremble down Eddie’s spine.

“And you decided to distract me?” Eddie asked. Richie chuckled, and Eddie felt hot.

“Yes, but, to be fair, you distract me all the time,” Richie said. His voice washed over Eddie like a warm bath, and all he wanted to do was relax into Richie’s arms.

“How so?”

“Well, for one you’ve got an _amazing_ ass for a dude—“ Eddie elbowed him and Richie groaned. “Oof…and two, you’re the hottest person I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re full of it, Rich,” Eddie scoffed.

“No joke, babe. I _dream_ of touching your butt,” Richie confessed. Eddie paused for a moment while Richie continued pressing kisses to his neck and collarbones.

“Why…why stop there?” He asked, hoping he sounded much more confident than he felt. Richie stopped.

“What did you mean?” He asked. Eddie shrugged, trying to remain casual despite the nerves he was starting to feel.

“It’s there,” he said vaguely. He could hear Richie’s brain malfunctioning.

“Are you saying I can touch your butt?” He questioned. Eddie sighed and moved his stuff to the side before turning to face Richie.

“If you want to,” he said looking up at Richie with those big eyes of his. 

The look on Richie’s face was beyond satisfying, and it made Eddie smile before pulling him down to kiss him. It took Richie a couple kisses before he could properly respond, and settled his hands on Eddie’s hips. Eddie could feel himself starting to get impatient despite the fact that they were just getting started. Did he not make it clear? He said he could do it. He _wanted_ him to do it. All it took for Eddie to realize just how much he wanted Richie to touch him was Richie mentioning it himself. His hands were so large, he wanted them everywhere.

Impatience getting the best of him, Eddie took Richie’s hands and lead them down to his ass. Richie almost stopped the kiss, but Eddie was eager to keep it going. He kissed Richie hard, and trailed his hands up his arms while they stayed still over Eddie’s butt. He finally pulled back with a sigh when Richie still was too shocked to do anything, and looked up at wide blue eyes.

“Hello?” Eddie said. Richie blinked at him.

“A-are you sure this is okay?” He stuttered nervously. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I wouldn’t have dragged your boney fingers to my ass if I wasn’t,” he deadpanned. Richie bit his lip. 

“So I can like…” he moved his hands to more properly cup Eddie’s ass, and the other man smiled with satisfaction. He nodded.

“Yeah.”

“And like…” he flexed his fingers and squeezed. Eddie giggled and nodded.

“Definitely,” he confirmed. Richie smiled and finally leaned back in to continue their kissing from earlier.

It was nice. Being touched and being wanted. Richie’s ever present lust for Eddie was most times annoying and a joke, but when they were close like this it was euphoric. Eddie liked feeling wanted, and with the way Richie groped his ass he felt throughly desired. It very easily encouraged their kisses until Eddie was sucking on Richie’s bottom lip while grabbing at his shirt in response to the other man’s hands on him. Richie breathed heavily against Eddie’s lips before kissing him again, and Eddie loved every second of it.

“Fuck, Eds, you’re so fucking _hot_ ,” Richie said as they took a breather. He took the opportunity to fully feel him up and play with the hem of his shorts. “These fucking shorts should be fucking illegal. I wanna fuck you in them,” Richie continued. 

Eddie blushed at how forward he was being, and gently moved Richie’s hands up so he could hop up on the desk without sitting on his fingers. He pulled Richie in with his leg, and lead his hands back to his body. Richie didn’t hesitate this time to touch his hips, his ass, his thighs, and Eddie could only hold his breath as he watched the hungry glaze over Richie’s eyes. He finally let out the breath when Richie kissed his neck, and fully wrapped his legs around him.

“Do it then,” he whispered.

“Do what?” Richie murmured between kisses. Eddie grabbed his belt loops, and simultaneously pulled him in and pushed him closer with his legs.

“Fuck me in my shorts,” Eddie said before rolling his hips. Richie gasped at the friction and cursed himself for wearing his jeans.

“Jesus, Eds.”

“Fuck me, Rich. Rub you cock right here, baby,” Eddie cooed as he rolled his hips. Richie groaned and had to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“God, Eddie, I’m gonna cream my fucking pants,” Richie sighed and kissed his throat.

“You should cream me. Cum inside me, get it really fucking deep,” Eddie continued as he pushed Richie harder with his legs.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Richie cursed and rutted his hips against Eddie’s. Eddie gasped and whined at the friction. It felt so good his body was overheating.

“Fuck me…fuck me so good, baby,” Eddie whispered. Richie hummed desperately and shoved his hand between them. Eddie squeaked. Despite having to work through his shorts _and_ his underwear, the contact between Eddie’s legs had him shaking. “F-fuck, Richie.”

“Love the way you shake, baby. Wanna make you fall apart,” Richie growled and started sucking his skin.

“Richie…fuck… _Ah!_ “ Eddie moaned as Richie worked his fingers harder, and even shoved his hips up with them. He then reached down and unzipped his jeans so he could reach in and squeeze him.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” Richie breathed and lifted his hand to push past the elastic of Eddie’s shorts. He stayed over his underwear and kept rubbing faster the louder Eddie got. 

“Richie…Richie…ah…baby,” Eddie rambled all while stroking and squeezing his hard dick through his boxers.

“ _Shit_ , Eds, I’m definitely gonna cum if you keep calling me that,” Richie warned. Eddie smirked and purposefully stroked him slower as he leaned in.

“Baby…it feels so good when you touch me like this…I wanna make you cum…please cum. Please cum for me, baby,” Eddie requested in such a sweet yet sinful voice. 

Richie groaned and rested his forehead on Eddie’s shoulder as he shuddered and came. Eddie felt his boxers get wet, but then got distracted with a shout when Richie suddenly rubbed faster and harder and came not too shortly after Richie did. His own body always shook and trembled ten times more than Richie’s, and Eddie always felt more tired than Richie did too. He slumped against him and caught his breath as Richie pressed kisses to the side of his head and gently rubbed his back. As his breath started to even out, Richie easily lifted him off the table and carried him to the bed. Eddie sighed as he was laid down on the mattress, but frowned when Richie didn’t join him.

“I got a bit of a mess, babe. Gimmie a minute,” he said before grabbing some tissues and turning away. Eddie couldn’t help but laugh and then flopped down. “What?” Richie asked turning back around and tossing the tissues in the trash. His pants were zipped back up by the time Eddie looked at him again, and he only laughed harder. “ _What!_ Holy shit, Eds,” he said despite laughing with him now. Eddie shook his head.

“Nothing, it’s just…kinda funny you turned away when I was _just_ touching your dick,” he teased. Richie rolled his eyes and flopped onto the bed with him.

“It’s not polite to show a flaccid penis, Eddie my boy,” he said before leaning down to kiss him. Eddie accepted the affection and held Richie’s face when he pulled back. They were both silent for a moment before Richie spoke again. “I…I feel like we should talk about this,” he announced. Eddie nodded in agreement.

“Yeah…sorry, I’m just-“

“Don’t be sorry. I know it’s not easy to talk about for you,” Richie assured him. Eddie sighed.

“I’ve been meaning to talk about it, but…Y’know…it’s hard.”

“ _Yeah_ it is,” Richie said with a grin. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“You’re a fucking child.”

“Sorry sorry. I get immature when this type of shit happens,” Richie replied. They giggled together and Eddie leaned up to kiss Richie. The kiss was returned, but it didn’t last long. “Do you…was all of that just talk, or…are you interested in…ugh, I feel like a middle schooler,” Richie groaned and plopped his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Interested in what?” Eddie chuckled.

“In…what you were talking about…on the desk…ugh…” Eddie blushed thinking about all the shit he said.

“Oh…um…I-I dunno. Testosterone doesn’t really act as birth control, but I’m on the shots so…but I don’t think I’d like it. It would make me anxious,” Eddie said vaguely. Richie pushed himself up and Eddie could see his confused expression.

“What?”

“What?”

“What are you talking about?” Richie clarified. Eddie blinked.

“I thought you…weren’t you asking about the whole…cum in me shit?” Richie’s eyes went wide.

“Oh shit, no I meant like…” he trailed off into another groan and sat up. “We’re being too vague for this shit! We need to use our big boy words!” Eddie sat up too and raised a brow.

“Uh…Okay? Fucking use them then,” he said. Richie took a deep breath and his face flushed bright red. He avoided Eddie’s eyes as he nervously twiddled his thumbs.

“Do you, Edward Kaspbrak, want to have penetrative sex with me, Richard Tozier?” He asked bluntly. Eddie smiled at the formality, but understood why Richie needed to do it that way.

“I mean…I’ve thought about it, but…I’m not sure. I’ve never…done anything like that. Even with myself,” he confessed. Richie looked at him with wide excited eyes.

“Oh, so you’re like a _virgin_ virgin?” Eddie hit his shoulder. “Sorry sorry. I just got excited.” Eddie shook his head.

“Yeah I’m a fucking virgin. You think I’d have sex with anyone looking the way I did when I first came here? Also I hate everyone in Derry. Only exception I can think of is Mike, but he’s so not my type,” he replied.

“I wanna meet Mike. He sounds like a respectful young lad.”

“Yeah, he’s the exact opposite of you,” Eddie muttered.

“Eds! My heart!” Richie gasped. Eddie tried to bite back a smile.

“Listen…I might want to have penetrative sex with you, but it would be a ways down the line. I think we should start out small, and work our way up,” Eddie proposed. Richie nodded, smiling like an idiot. “Why are you smiling like that? You look fucking goofy.”

“Nothing…you just…you made me really happy saying it’ll be down the line because that means you wanna be with me for a while,” he confessed. Eddie blinked and then hid his red face in his hands.

“Christ, Richie, are we seriously like twelve years old?”

“Maybe! You make me feel young again Edward Spaghedward,” Richie said before kissing the top of his head. Eddie swatted him away and groaned.

“Fuck off. Okay, let’s just…we’re gonna start small,” he said redirecting them on track. Richie nodded.

“Yes, okay. What does that…look like?” He asked. Eddie thought for a moment.

“Um…probably a lot of what we just did still. I’m…a little reluctant to take off clothes…”

“What if the lights are off?” Richie asked. Eddie felt nervous.

“M-maybe? I dunno. We’d have to try it to see if I like it, but I’m not taking anything off from the waist up. I-I think I’d have a panic attack if someone saw me without some kind of compression on top,” Eddie replied. Richie nodded and reached to take his hand.

“Should we talk more about this later?” He offered. Eddie shook his head.

“If I put it off I’ll only feel more nervous,” he replied.

“Okay, well…if we try it with the lights off, and your pants are off…how do you feel about oral?”

“Oral?”

“Yeah, like…my mouth on your bits,” Richie said. Eddie flushed at that.

“Okay, that _sounds_ so gross. Didn’t even know people did that.”

“You’ve never heard of fucking _oral?_ “

“I’ve heard of blow jobs! Not the other way around though. It sounds…messy…and unpleasant for you,” he said. Richie shook his head.

“Babe, I _love_ doing oral. If you ever let me I’ll literally jump at the chance,” he said with a wild smile. 

Eddie drew his knees in and tried to imagine what it would be like, but all he could do was feel anxious at the idea of Richie being so close to that part of him. Would it be the last straw? Would that be what it takes for the illusion to be broken and Richie finally see him for the sham he was? He shook that thought away and sighed.

“I’ll think about it…but I’m not sure,” he said. Richie nodded and moved a little closer to press their foreheads together.

“Whatever you need to feel comfortable,” he hummed.

“I’m not opposed to giving oral though,” Eddie announced. Richie flung his head back and groaned before falling to the sheets. “Damn, never mind.” That sent Richie back up to speak.

“No no! I’ll accept it! We were just being really soft and wholesome and then you blurted that out and it kinda killed me,” Richie told him. Eddie laughed at that and ruffled his hair. It had gotten longer as Richie promised, and Eddie loved it.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously into the idea of you giving me head, baby,” Richie winked.

“Yeah, never mind again.”

“Eddie! Why must you play with me like this!” Eddie smiled.

“Because you’re cute when you’re flustered,” he replied. Richie paused at that and then smiled back.

“You’re a dick.”

After that things went pretty smoothly. Eddie definitely felt less anxious with one less thing to worry about, and Richie was more willing to initiate things now that they’ve talked about it. They had about three weeks before their first term started, and it was absolute bliss. Richie’s dorm was a ways away since Eddie was in a single dorm and Richie had a double, but it was always worth the wait when he made his way down. 

Surprisingly Richie ended up with Bill as his roommate, and he couldn’t be more excited about sharing with someone who wasn’t a total fucking stranger. Ben and Bev let the lease run out and moved into their own dorms, and Bill had been moved in since Stan left for Georgia. By the time Eddie moved in the only person left to move all their shit was Richie, but he didn’t feel the need to take a bunch of stuff because his parents were so close. Helping Richie move into his dorm room only took half an hour while it took everyone else a whole day respectively. Eddie was a little jealous, but decided that the extra time they had after moving Richie’s stuff was nice to have.

“Hell yeah. Bottle cap collection on the dresser,” Richie announced.

“You collect b-bottle caps?” Bill asked looking up from his bed.

“Yup! Better than them ending up in a fucking landfill,” Richie replied.

“Good point,” Eddie said reaching into the mason jar and pulling out a sprite cap.

“I’m full of those.” Richie slung his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, but Eddie only wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“The only thing you’re full of is yourself, Rich,” Eddie murmured putting the cap back. Bill snorted.

“Good one, Eds,” he said. Eddie smiled at that as Richie pouted.

“Is that it? Or are you gonna bring more stuff over later?” Eddie asked. Richie let go of his pout and shrugged.

“This is good for now. If I need anything else I can’t remember it,” he answered.

”Well, you could work on organizing some of your stuff too-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there to save you the disappointment, baby,” Richie said before pressing a big kiss to Eddie temple.

“You disgust me.”

“You’re the one d-dating him,” Bill pointed out. Eddie blushed and shrugged Richie’s arm off his shoulder so he could sit on the bed. Richie was close behind him, but didn’t bother to sit down.

“So uh…how’s your room?” Richie asked. Eddie looked up with furrowed brows.

“My room?” He questioned. Richie nodded.

“Yeah, like…is there anything else you need to do in there? I could come with you and help out,” he suggested. Eddie laughed.

“You mean sit on my bed while I do everything?” Eddie accused. Bill laughed with him and Richie pursed his lips.

“Well, you’re free to join me on the bed anytime you want,” he said coyly. Eddie raised a brow, but Bill was quick to explain the situation out for them.

“Eddie, Richie w-wants to go to your room so he can have s-sex with you,” he announced.

“ _Wow_ , Bill way to ruin the suspense,” Richie scoffed. Eddie blushed.

“Are you seriously horny right now?” Eddie asked.

“For one, I’m always horny for you baby-“

“Gross.”

“And two, what’s so wrong with being horny right now?”

“We just spent the past hour or so moving your shit. You’re probably sweaty,” Eddie pointed out.

“Then let’s hop in the shower and make it steamy,” Richie winked.

“Can you guys t-talk about f-fucking each other somewhere else p-please?” Bill requested. Eddie groaned and got up to lead Richie out of the room and down the hall.

“Bye Bill!” Richie called as they left.

“I dunno why you expected me to know what you meant earlier when you suggested going to my room,” Eddie grumbled.

“I mean, I wasn’t going _straight_ for that, but if it happens I’m not gonna stop it,” he replied.

“You’re not funny,” Eddie said and took them out the door that lead to the stairs.

“Are you really gonna make me shower again? I just took one this morning,” Richie said.

“I know. I can smell it.”

“You can _smell_ it?”

“More like I _can’t_ smell it,” Eddie mumbled.

“Fighting words there, baby. You sure you even wanna hold my hand?” Richie teased. Eddie stopped at the door that lead to his floor and kissed him on the cheek.

“Positive.”

“Eds, baby, you’re making me blush.”

When they finally get to Eddie’s dorm room Eddie was surprised to feel hands going straight for his ass. He squeaked and scrambled for the bed, only to laugh at himself when Richie looked at him with a panicked look. He sat up and smiled up at Richie.

“Sorry, you caught me by surprise is all,” he told him as he pulled him closer by his belt loops.

“It’s okay. Uh…so we’re good to fool around, right?” He asked as he watched Eddie undo the button to his jeans.

Eddie nodded. They neglected to turn on the lights, and the curtain was drawn. The only light that came in was through the cracks of the fabric over the window. It hit the back of Eddie’s head and skittered over his hair. When he looked up again he was undoing the zipper, and Richie was easily aroused by the sight alone.

“I really wanna try this,” Eddie announced. Richie sucked in a breath before nodding.

“Yeah, sure. Anything you want,” he replied. Eddie smiled at that and shyly touched the growing bulge in Richie’s pants.

“Have you thought about it?” Eddie whispered. Richie bit his lip looking down at those big innocent eyes. It was better than anything he could’ve imagined in the first place.

“I mean…I already told you I jacked off to your selfies, Eds. Do you think I’m gonna say anything else but absolutely yes?” Eddie looked like he was fighting the disgust from his face, but he clearly failed and Richie reached down for his chin to get his attention back.

“You’re gross,” he said.

“And yet you’re touching my dick,” Richie reminded him. Eddie failed to stifle a laugh, and squeezed him harder around where he found the head to be. Richie let his eyes close for a brief moment before returning to Eddie.

“Tell me what you were thinking,” Eddie murmured. Richie frowned. “When you were touching yourself,” he clarified and reached in his jeans to touch him through his boxers. Richie hummed from the pleasure and ran his memory back to the countless nights he spent stroking his cock looking at those innocent brown eyes.

“I-I’ll be honest with you, Eds, I really wanted to fuck you. Just…fucking be inside you and touch you until you’re crying for more and crying for relief,” Richie recalled.

“Did you ever think of being in my mouth?” Eddie asked. Richie nodded enthusiastically.

“Every other day, baby!” He replied. Eddie grinned and then pulled away to sit more on the bed.

“Lay down,” he instructed. 

Richie wasted no time and popped off his shoes before crawling over the comforter and plopping down when Eddie told him. Those gentle hands were back on his hips, and then they tugged down his jeans a little. Richie looked down in time to see Eddie ducking his head down and licking Richie through his underwear. His tongue was so soft and delicate, but it felt so good through the fabric regardless. Richie moaned and started grabbing at the sheets under him. Eddie smiled and shook his head.

“I’ve barely done anything,” he pointed out.

“I swear to god, I feel like a freshly baptized virgin, my darling. Your presence alone is enough to give me a fucking boner,” Richie explained.

“I think that’s just called sexual attraction and tension,” Eddie said.

“I call it ‘my boyfriend has such natural raw sexual power that I have suddenly never received a blowy until now’,” Richie replied. Eddie laughed.

“Wow. I’m gonna take your dick out now,” he announced. Richie nodded, and sure enough he was in direct contact with those lithe fingers. He groaned as they slipped down his length, and Eddie couldn’t fight the small smile on his lips the entire time. “‘T’s dry,” he observed.

“Yeah…shit, I didn’t bring lube,” Richie sighed as his breathing picked up.

“I’ve got something better,” Eddie told him. 

“Fuck, please say it’s your tongue.”

“It’s my tongue,” Eddie obliged blandly.

“Fuuuck,” Richie groaned. Eddie laughed again and leaned down to kiss the tip. “ _Fuuuuuuuck_ …”

“Tastes weird,” Eddie narrated.

“It’ll grow on you,” Richie assured him with short breaths. Eddie licked him like a soft serve and Richie couldn’t help but giggle.

“What?”

“It’s not an ice cream cone, babe. You can just put it in your mouth,” Richie told him. Eddie blushed, but did as Richie instructed regardless. Richie’s eyes rolled back as Eddie started to suck on the head and play with his slit. “Oof…yeah that’s good.”

“How much do I put in?” Eddie asked. Richie pushed himself up onto his elbows and had to suppress a moan getting a good view of Eddie between his legs like this.

“As much as you feel comfortable with. You can use your hand for what doesn’t fit,” Richie assured him. Eddie looked down at Richie’s dick in his hand and then again back up to his boyfriend.

“I feel like you have a big dick,” he mused out loud. Richie felt both confused and flattered by that statement.

“You…feel like it?” Eddie blushed, and that was definitely a sight to see with his lips to close to Richie’s cock.

“I-I dunno…I’ve never seen one in real life up close before, but…” he gave Richie a good pump, and took his time to feel how big the other male was. “…it feels big.”

“Well…I mean…it is,” Richie admitted going pink himself. Eddie blinked up at him and licked the head again.

“Yeah? I’m really small too,” Eddie acknowledged. Richie nodded in agreement. He had noticed, and it was really good for his imagination. “So…your dick is even bigger compared to me.”

“Yeah, you’re fucking tiny,” Richie replied and reached down to caress Eddie’s cheek.

“Can you imagine how you’ll look inside me?” Eddie whispered. His hand continued to stroke Richie slowly while peppering in a good amount of spit to keep it slick from time to time. Richie groaned and closed his eyes trying to imagine it.

“Fuck…”

“You might break me, y’know? Split me in half. Shove your fat cock so far up inside me that I can taste it. I’d be so tight, huh? Can you _imagine_ how good it would feel?” Eddie continued and squeezed harder when he got to that point. Richie moaned and gasped at his added grip.

“Christ, Eddie. You’d be so fucking tight. So fucking good. I wanna fuck you so bad,” he admitted. Eddie smiled at that and sucked at the head. Richie moaned again and laced his fingers through Eddie’s hair. Eddie licked his hand and jerked him off faster.

“Fuck, Rich, think about how easily you could hold me down. Your hands on my waist…shoving me down while you fuck me from behind…” Eddie trailed off into a whine of his own, but tried to play it off like he didn’t think about it all the time.

“You want it from behind baby?” Richie asked. His voice was a wreak from all the groaning, but it was worth the little whimper that came from Eddie. He nodded.

“Yeah…yeah, I want it,” he sighed and then took Richie in his mouth again.

“Fuck…I want it too…want you from every angle baby. Front, back, side. I wanna see everything and anything you wanna show me,” Richie rambled. Eddie hollowed his cheeks, and Richie groaned. “ _Fuck_.”

“Cum…cum in my mouth,” Eddie requestioned. Richie was hesitant to oblige, but eventually reached down to rub himself off before splattering across Eddie’s lips and cheeks.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Richie sighed sounding exhausted. He flopped down, and Eddie quickly scrambled for a tissue to wipe his face.

“That tastes so gross, why did I want that?” He huffed. 

Richie sat up and threw the tissue away. Eddie started to protest, but was flustered when Richie pulled him into his lap. He blinked at him with wide eyes, and his body was trembling from his lack of release. Richie pushed him closer, and Eddie gasped at the closeness.

“I wanna touch you,” Richie told him before reaching down to grab his ass again. Eddie let out another surprised moan and gripped Richie’s shirt.

“O…okay,” he nodded.

“I mean under your clothes. I wanna feel you,” Richie whispered. Eddie shivered before nodding slowly.

“Okay…it stays on, but…you can touch,” Eddie answered. 

Richie nodded and started with his usual gentle rubbing between Eddie’s thighs. He was already shaking due to the excitement of getting his boyfriend off, but combined with the pleasure of Richie touching him back he was a mess. He wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck and rocked his hips against his fingers. That made Richie grab his ass tighter and encourage the movement. Eddie moaned and leaned in for a kiss, only to gasp when Richie slipped his hand past both the elastic of Eddie’s sweats and his boxers.

It was the first time Eddie had ever really been touched. Usually whenever he was horny he just humped a pillow and tried to forget everything once it was done. Orgasms had never felt as amazing as they did with Richie, and feeling his skin for the first time in his most sensitive area was absolutely mind blowing. He whined instantly and squirmed as Richie ran his fingers back and forth. His body heated up fast, and he used his hips to fuck himself faster.

“Shit, Eds. You’re fucking hot,” Richie sighed as he switched to circles around Eddie’s growth. Eddie’s hips stuttered and his mouth hung open from the pleasure as Richie thoroughly rocked his world.

“Fuck…fuck, feels so good, baby,” Eddie mumbled and ducked his head into Richie’s neck.

“I got you, babe. C’mon,” Richie cooed and kissed down Eddie’s neck.

“Richie…Richie…” Eddie’s voice climbed as all the tension in his body started to come to a head, and Richie took that as a sign to hurry his fingers. It didn’t take much longer before Eddie was gasping for air as the pleasure erupted and he was shivering and shaking from it.

“You did so fucking good, baby,” Richie whispered and gently kissed over his face.

“Holy shit…”

“D’you like it?” Richie asked sounding just as equally fucked out. Eddie was still catching his breath as he nodded and leaned forward against Richie’s shoulder.

“Yeah…I never…fuck, I’ve never…mmh,” his brain felt fried.

“Never what, Eds?” Richie asked as he leaned them back into laying on the bed.

“I never touched myself like that…always just…I dunno…humped a pillow,” he confessed. Richie’s eyes rolled back.

“You’re fucking killing me with how cute you are. Like, virginity is a dumb concept, but my stupid ape brain is going fucking wild over the fact that I touched you first before you even touched yourself,” Richie rambled.

“Well, the hormones are driving up my sex drive, so feel free to deal with it with me,” Eddie sighed. Richie chuckled and kissed the side of his head.

“I’m glad you trusted me to do it though…it means a lot,” Richie said. Eddie turned his head and blinked up at the side of his face.

“…I’m glad you wanted to do it,” Eddie hummed.

“Of course I wanted to. Have you seen yourself? I’m gonna have to introduce you to a mirror sometime,” Richie teased as he sweetly slipped his fingers through Eddie’s hair.

“Whatever…I just…I’m happy when I’m with you. I’m glad I picked New York. I’m glad I decided to see you,” Eddie said. Richie looked back over to him and smiled.

“I am too…”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: dead naming, transphobia, homophobic slur

“This is the student plan. There’s quite a bit of a discount, and we also have our student option for our music subscription. We can set that up for you today too if you’d like, but if not you’re totally set to go.” Eddie smiled at the store manager and nodded.

“I think I’m good. Thank you so much for your help,” he said.

“No problem, Mr. Kaspbrak. You know how to change names and everything, right? We need legal names for legal reasons, but you can change the display name yourself,” the manager told him.

“Yeah, I did that for my iPod. Thanks though.”

“No problem. I hope you have a wonderful day,” he said with a nod. 

Eddie nodded back and walked out of the store. First thing he did with his cell phone was dial Richie’s number he had gotten years ago and wait. He was probably either in class or close to starting class, so there was a chance he wouldn’t pick up. There was also the chance that he wouldn’t recognize the number and immediately block it, but he also knew that Richie answered calls even when he knew they were a spam call. Thankfully, he did pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rich,” Eddie greeted.

“Eddie! You got a phone finally!” Richie exclaimed. He heard something in the background followed by Richie’s hushed apologies. “Sorry, I forgot I’m at the library,” he whispered. Eddie giggled.

“How do you just forget that?” Eddie asked.

“I dunno. I heard your voice and I went all ape shit,” Richie replied. Eddie shook his head to himself.

“Are you gonna be at the library for long?” He asked.

“Uh…yeah, I think so. My next class isn’t for another couple hours so I’m just chilling here,” Richie answered.

“Okay. I’ll head over there,” Eddie told him.

“Oh, fuck yeah!” Shushes quickly followed in the background and Eddie laughed.

“I’ll see you there, Rich.”

“Okay, baby face. See you soon.”

The walk back to campus wasn’t crazy long, so Eddie decided to skip the subway. He instead took his time getting there, but eventually came to regret it when he walked into the student center and was suddenly faced with Sonia Kaspbrak at the help desk. His face grew pale, and his jaw fell slack and her howling filled the room and distracted everyone trying to use a computer. Thankfully, her back was turned, but Eddie could recognize that voice anywhere. He quickly ducked out and made his way to the library praying she didn’t spot him.

“Her name is Annabelle Kaspbrak! She’s my daughter and she’s been missing since June!” 

He could still hear her hysterical screaming from down the hall, and he only walked faster. By the time he got to the library he was panting and sweating. His eyes searching desperately for Richie when they finally settled on the other man looking absolutely bewildered by Eddie’s entrance. He made a beeline for his table and sat down. His entire body was shaking as he tried to push his hair into order.

“Dude, are you okay?” Richie asked. Eddie bit his lip and shook his head.

“No…no, my _mother_ is currently screaming her head off in the student center,” Eddie told him. Richie’s eyes went wide.

“Wait, what? What the fuck, _really?_ “ Eddie nodded.

“Yup. She’s out there… _yelling_ my fucking dead name and insisting that I’m fucking missing,” he said. 

His hands itched for something to calm him down. A Tylenol, his childhood inhaler that did fuck all, maybe a goddamn ice pack, but there was no physical remedy that could fix the burning pit in his stomach. He hated knowing that she found him, and he couldn’t help be desperately wonder how she could’ve figured it out. Why she couldn’t get it through her head that she was awful and drove him away from her.

“Fuck, what a fucking psycho,” Richie sighed and reached to hold Eddie’s hand. It was sweaty, but he insisted on it.

“I just wish she’d leave me the fuck alone. Why is she like this? W-why did she have to be _my_ mom,” he groaned.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t say she is. Like, yeah you’re related, but…she was never really a mom to you.”

“That’s for damn sure,” Eddie grumbled.

“Excuse me, are you last name Kaspbrak?”

Eddie looked up to see one of the school counselors looking down at him. He clenched his jaw and held Richie’s hand tighter. The counselor honestly looked like a nice woman. She had a concerned look on her face, and her sweater reminded Eddie of the nineties. He had seen her around helping students in the library having mental break downs and panic attacks from too much studying. From the expression she was giving him, he could tell she had a pretty good understanding of the situation.

“She’s not leaving, is she?” He questioned angrily. The woman licked her lips anxiously before clearing her throat.

“If you’d like, we can escort her out, but…if you’d like to speak to Sonia…she’d really like to speak to you,” she told him. Eddie sighed and closed his eyes.

“What’s your first name?”

“Don’t you already _know_ that,” Eddie snapped.

“I mean _your_ first name. Not the one your mother gave you,” she clarified. Eddie looked up at her and then to Richie who had nothing but concern on his face as he continued holding Eddie’s hand.

“…my name is Eddie,” he answered.

“Short for Edward?”

“Sure…”

“If you speak to Sonia, do you believe you’ll be in any physical danger? Is there a reason she only knows you as her daughter?” She asked gently.

“I ran away from home. It was the only way to get rid of her…at least that’s what I thought,” Eddie answered.

“She got a letter from us in the mail under your name…”

“Can we get that address out of my file? I’m literally never going back there,” Eddie requested. The woman nodded.

“Of course, Eddie. I just need to know what you want to do,” she said. Eddie sighed and stood up.

“Whoa, babe. What are you doing?” Richie asked standing with him.

“If I don’t tell her to fuck off in person then she’ll only come back,” he sighed and started walking out of the library. The counselor and Richie were close behind, and Richie seamlessly slipped their hands back together and convinced Eddie to slow down a little.

“I’m here for you, okay?” Richie assured him. Eddie nodded, thankful for Richie’s hand stopping the shaking in his.

“Thanks…I dunno if she’ll even recognize me,” Eddie said. Richie laughed.

“Wouldn’t that be funny! Some mother she is,” he scoffed.

“She’s just down here, um…” the counselor lead Eddie back to the student center where he walked in, and he instantly found his mother still harassing the person behind the desk.

“I don’t understand why I can’t see my own daughter! Why is there a law against that, I’m her _mother!_ “ Sonia cried. Richie squeezed Eddie’s hand, and the three of them approached Sonia Kaspbrak. Eddie watched as his mother looked over at the counselor and then at him and Richie with confusion.

“Mrs. Kaspbrak, I-“

“Excuse me? I asked you to bring me my daughter, not a couple of dirty children,” Sonia interrupted.

“Ma, stop it,” Eddie spoke up. Sonia blinked at him with wide eyes.

“Ma? I’m not…” she trailed off as she looked at him closer. Her face went bright red and she glared at Eddie with rage he had only seen on her face once or twice. “Annabelle Grace Kaspbrak, what the hell did you do to yourself!” She snapped. Eddie winced at his dead name and felt his lungs restrict again.

“Nothing that matters to you. Leave me alone, okay? You shouldn’t be here,” he said trying to remain calm. Richie let go of his hand to rub his back.

“Your hair! What did you do to your voice? Annie-bear, you were so perfect, why would you ruin that?” Sonia sobbed.

“It wasn’t _me_ , okay? You…y-you never just let me be myself. I left home on my own, ma. I’m not fucking missing. I just couldn’t stand you,” Eddie snapped. Sonia cried louder and shook her head.

“Y-you’re not my daughter. You ruined yourself. You were so perfect, and now you just look like your father!”

“Ma, stop shouting. You need to leave me alone and just forget about this,” Eddie pleaded. Richie was almost engulfing Eddie. His eyes piercing into Sonia as she glared between the two boys.

“What? Did you let this nasty little homo convince you to be a _boy?_ He just wanted a fake boy so he could say he’s straight!” She accused.

“Fuck you, lady. I’m gay as hell,” Richie spoke up. Eddie shot him a look, but Richie was too busy now straight up holding him against his chest.

“Annie, I thought I raised you better-“

“Stop that! My name isn’t Annabelle!” He snapped again.

“I named you myself, so I get to say what your name is and isn’t!”

Eddie groaned and turned to the counselor.

“Escort her out. I’m fucking done,” he said to her. He then turned back to Sonia. “Never try to find me ever again. Stay the fuck out of my life,” he told her sternly and started walking away with Richie.

“Oh…w…wait…wait, Annie! Come home, _please!_ We can fix this! Please, I’ll take you home and I’ll love you for just the way you are!” Sonia begged trying to follow Eddie. Campus security arrived quickly, and thankfully Eddie didn’t need to run away.

“You have no idea who he actually is. What makes you think you can love him for that?” Richie spat as the guards approached them. She cowered in fear from them, but not before glaring at him back.

“And what gives you the authority to speak to me like that?” She hissed.

“He’s my boyfriend, ma, and right now he knows a hell of a lot more than you do,” Eddie told her as the security guards started guiding her away.

“Annie, _please_ -“

“Ma’am, we’re gonna have to ask you to leave,” one of the guards said. Thankfully that distracted her enough for Richie to pull Eddie away back to to library and leave her screaming the opposite direction.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Richie muttered as they walked back to the desk. He gathered up his stuff, and Eddie grabbed his back with a grim face.

“I’m so sorry, Richie,” he whispered.

“For _what?_ “ he asked, accidentally raising his voice as he stared at Eddie incredulously. There were shushes, but Richie merely flipped off the nearest person before pulling Eddie out of the library and towards their dorms.

“Rich—slow down,” Eddie begged feeling numb.

“You _lived_ with that thing? For _eighteen years?_ “ He questioned. Eddie sighed and nodded as they climbed up the stairs.

“Yeah, it was…hard.”

“ _Hard?_ Uh _excuse-moi_ , but living with Maggie and Wentworth Tozier was ‘hard’. What _you_ went through was a living hell,” Richie corrected as they walked out into Eddie’s hall.

“I’m fine, Richie-“

Eddie stopped talking as Richie tugged him faster down the hall to his dorm. His feet dragged after Richie’s long legs, and when they finally got inside Eddie’s room he was beyond exhausted. Richie paced the room as Eddie sat down in his desk chair and rubbed at his eyes.

“Richie…you’re stressing me out doing that,” Eddie murmured.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m stressed out too after meeting that fucking _thing_ that calls itself a mother for the first time,” Richie replied harshly. Eddie’s eyes stung, and he felt a familiar ache in his throat. It’s been so long since he’s properly cried, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved when he felt the tell tail signs of an intense crying session.

“Rich-“

“Fuck! Like I know I’m being a total asshole about this, a-and I’m kinda taking it out on you, but Jesus fucking _Christ_ , dude! That hurt _me_. I can’t fucking imagine how much it hurt _you_ to live with that. I’m just so angry at her I can’t stand it!” Richie ranted. Eddie sniffled and brought his knees to his chest.

“I’m fine…really…” he assured him. Richie paused and noticed the tears threatening to fall down his face. It was as if a switch flipped and he was suddenly on his knees next to Eddie on the floor.

“Shit, no you’re not, Eds. I’m sorry I yelled,” he said in a gentle voice. Eddie shook his head and blinked his first tears since Stan left.

“No…you have every right to be angry. She was awful to you,” he said. He struggled to breath, and Richie was quick to stand up and scoop Eddie out of the chair and into his bed.

“Just like…breathe, okay? Don’t worry about talking for now,” Richie instructed. Eddie finally let a sob break loose, and Richie held his head to his chest. “Fuck, I wish I could’ve saved you…I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to scoop you up and take you away. Of course, Bev beat me to it. She’s so good with you,” he sighed. Eddie nodded in agreement and held onto Richie tightly.

“She…s-she got me my first boy clothes,” he murmured. He felt Richie’s chest shake with a slight chuckle, and whimpered from how comforting it was.

“Should we call her? What do you need, Eds? I’ll make it happen,” Richie promised.

“Just…stay,” Eddie’s voice cracked before another sob followed. Richie rubbed his back and nodded.

“Of course. Do you have anymore classes today?” He asked. Eddie shook his head.

“No…but I have an early morning class tomorrow,” he sniffled.

“Okay…I have to email my professor in a bit. Should I email yours too?” He offered.

“…we can do it at the same time,” Eddie said. Richie nodded.

“That sounds good, baby. Just rest. I’m sorry I stressed you out more,” Richie cooed.

“It’s okay…”

After that Eddie ended up falling asleep in Richie’s arms. He had dreamless sleep, and he always like it when that happened. Those sleeps always left him feeling so much better and rested. It was like his brain finally gave him a break. When he woke up Richie was on his laptop next to him. He was typing up an email, but he made sure to have a hand fee to calmly stroke Eddie’s shoulder. He turned over and immediately felt pain in his chest. Shit, did he sleep in his binder?

“Hey, you okay?” Richie asked. Eddie shook his head and sat up to look around his room. “What’s wrong?”

“Shouldn’t…sleep in binders,” Eddie told him before getting up and going to his dresser. He pulled out a sports bra, and glanced at Richie over his shoulder. “Please don’t look,” he begged. 

Richie nodded and turned himself away with his eyes covered. With his privacy, Eddie wriggled out of the binder and replaced it with his sports bra. He then put his shirt back on, and then layered Richie’s hoodie he gave him in senior year for extra coverage. Finally able to breath again, Eddie sat back on the bed and hooked his chin over Richie’s shoulder. He was typing an email to Eddie’s morning instructor, and Eddie sighed in appreciation that he wasn’t the one typing it out.

“Bev is on her way with Chinese,” Richie told him. Eddie pressed his forehead to Richie’s nape to shield his eyes from the computer light.

“Chinese is too expensive…” he murmured.

“Not for you, spaghetti man. You’re worth every penny,” Richie assured him.

“…okay…” he was too tired to argue.

“Do you think you’ll make it to your afternoon class, or should I email her too?”

“Mm…tell her I might not make it, but I’ll try,” he said. Richie nodded and opened a new email. “Thank you…” he said in a small voice.

“Of course. Anything for my boyfriend,” Richie said. Eddie could hear the smile in his voice, and felt himself smile too. “You said it first, by the way, so uh…I’m just saying…”

“Only cause it took you too long,” Eddie murmured.

“What? Me? A coward? Never.”

“How long did that take us?”

“Like three…four…five years?” Richie questioned. Eddie giggled and nuzzled his nape.

“You really are a coward.”

“Your mom is a coward,” Richie didn’t say it like a joke, but Eddie still laughed.

“She really is…” Eddie kissed Richie’s neck. “Thank you…for being there for me…for being mad for me…”

“I’m still fucking mad, let’s make that clear,” Richie assured him. Eddie sighed and wrapped his arms around Richie.

“Can you stay tonight? I want…I need someone with me, and I just…I-“

“You’re asking me this as if I wasn’t already gonna stay without you even asking,” Richie interrupted. Eddie sighed and moved his arms so he could touch Richie’s shoulders.

“I mean…I wanna feel good. Can you do that for me tonight?” He whispered. Richie slowed his typing before eventually speeding backup.

“Of course I can…I’d do anything for you,” Richie reminded him. Eddie smiled a little.

“Careful. I’m starting to think you really mean that,” Eddie teased. Richie looked back to him and took a hand to his chest.

“I do. I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again. Eddie Kaspbrak, you have my heart in the palms of your hands, baby,” Richie whispered. Eddie frowned for a moment before placing a kiss to Richie’s lips.

“And you have mine,” he breathed. Richie smiled and kissed Eddie again. Before they could go very far, the door swung open, and Beverly walked in with an armful of Chinese take out bags.

“Alright. I got a shoulder to cry on, beer, and a whole lotta chow mein,” she announced. Eddie giggled and turned to face his best friend.

“Hi Bev,” he greeted.

“Hello Eddie. I heard the bitch was back,” she said closing the door and setting the food down on Eddie’s desk. Eddie nodded sadly and Richie finished up writing the last email.

“She really is a fucking bitch,” Richie grumbled.

“Rich is still mad at her,” Eddie told Bev. Beverly nodded.

“For good reason. He filled me in while you were power napping.”

“What time is it?” Eddie asked.

“Almost nine,” Richie answered.

“Fuck…”

“Even then, I bet you feel like you could sleep for weeks,” Bev said pulling out a couple beers. Eddie nodded and smiled at the opened bottle being offered to him.

“Beverly, my love, you think of everything, don’t you?” Richie praised as he accepted his own bottle.

“You guys are lucky I love you both. This is putting a real dent in my stash, and there’s only so many upper class men I can flirt with to get more,” Beverly warned. Eddie nodded and thankfully took a slow gulp.

“You are a queen amongst us mortals,” Richie said raising his bottle.

“Truly,” Eddie agreed. Bev smiled at that and started pulling out the food.

“Chopsticks, or forks?” She asked.

“Fork,” Eddie requested.

“Chopsticks!” Richie cheered.

“I didn’t know you knew how to use chopsticks,” Eddie said.

“He doesn’t. He just likes to stab everything and struggle,” Beverly deadpanned handing them their own containers. Eddie got the orange chicken and Richie got the chicken chow mein.

“I’ve been getting better,” Richie insisted shutting the laptop and accepting his food. Eddie giggled when he immediately picked them up wrong and started shoveling the food in his mouth.

“You’re so fucking dumb,” Eddie said.

“I’m dumb, but you’re the one who said the b word first,” Richie replied. Beverly gasped and Eddie blushed.

“Oh my god, have you guys finally decided, after years of having a monogamous and dedicated relationship, that you will call each other… _boyfriends?_ ” She asked sarcastically whispering the last word.

“Shut it, Marsh. None of your business,” Richie said.

“You’re my _dudes_ , of course it’s my business,” she insisted.

“Your dudes?” Eddie questioned.

“Yeah, like my bros. My guys. My dudes,” she replied. Eddie and Richie laughed together at that, and Richie stabbed a piece of orange chicken from Eddie’s box.

“Fuck,” he cursed and tried to stab it again. Eddie rolled his eyes and picked up the piece with his fork to feed it to him.

“You’re _so_ fucking dumb,” Eddie said. Richie smiled and kissed his cheek before accepting the food.

“I know.”

Richie and Beverly bonded over how terrible of a person Sonia Kaspbrak was while Eddie fed himself copious amounts of noodles and rice and chicken. He had forgotten just how wiped out he felt after a good crying session, and was thankful to wake up to warm and delicious food. The other two must’ve accommodated for that, because they would pass off their less than half finished boxes to Eddie and would tell him to finish it off. The beer helped wash it all down and fill his tummy faster, and by the end of it he felt happily full and sleepy again.

“Got enough food in you?” Bev asked sweetly. Eddie smiled and nodded as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

“Yeah…thank you. So much, Bev,” he said reaching for her hand. She took his and smiled as she rubbed her thumb against the back of it.

“Of course. She’s not an easy woman to deal with. Living with my dad was really hard too. I couldn’t imagine how awful I would feel if he showed up here calling me the wrong name and insulting Ben like that,” she said. Eddie nodded sadly.

“I just hope she’ll stay away. I told her to leave me alone, but…I’m scared she’ll just come back,” he told her.

“That’s a valid fear, but remember that we’ll always be here for you if it happens again,” Beverly promised. Richie nodded and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s temple.

“Anytime,” Richie added. Eddie smiled up at him and touched his face gently. “Feeling full?” He asked.

“I’m like the turkey at thanksgiving. The scary part is that I feel like I could still eat more,” he said.

“Welcome to puberty, baby. The black hole phase is probably the worst,” Richie said while stroking his side. His touch reminded Eddie that he wanted more of it, and so he turned back to Beverly.

“Thanks so much again, Bevvy, but I think I should sleep now,” Eddie said. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. Text me in the morning, okay? I’ll take the trash with me,” she said before getting up and starting to gather the all the trash and beer bottles.

“You sure?” Richie asked as he got up to help her. She nodded and they stuffed it all back in its original bag.

“I’m sure. The trash is on the way to my dorm,” she assured him.

“Okay. Thanks a lot, Bev,” Richie said.

“Of course. Goodnight, Eddie,” she smiled. Eddie smiled back from the bed.

“Goodnight, Bevvy.”

“Make sure he gets a lot of rest, okay?” Beverly said sternly to Richie. Richie laughed.

“Okay, mom. I will,” he replied. 

She gave him a peck on the cheek and blew Eddie a kiss before leaving the room. Richie grabbed his laptop and placed it on the desk before flicking off the lamp on top of it. The room was pitch black save for the city lights peeking through the window curtains. Eddie could hear Richie undoing his jeans followed by denim sliding off his legs. He was still wearing his khakis from earlier, so he decided to join Richie in shuffling them off. By the time he got them to his ankles Richie was crawling back into bed and started helping him.

“How are you feeling?” Richie asked. Eddie smiled and pressed a kiss to his boyfriends lips.

“Good…” he murmured before kissing him again. “A bit horny.”

“What else is new?” Richie teased. Eddie merely smiled and kissed him again.

“Rich, I want you to touch me again,” he murmured against his lips. Richie’s breath hitched, and he gently touched over Eddie’s legs.

“Yeah? Should I take off your boxers?” He asked. Eddie hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah…yes…yes, please,” Eddie consented. Richie bit his lip and brushed his thumb against the hem of Eddie’s boxers as he caresses his thigh.

“How far can I go?” He questioned.

“Um…Mmm…I-I dunno. I just…want you,” Eddie replied.

“Can I eat you out?” Richie requested almost desperately.

“Eat me out?”

“Oral, baby,” Richie reminded him.

“Oh…we could try it…”

“Are you sure?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded gently.

“Yeah…whatever you want to do to me…I trust you,” Eddie answered firmly. Richie smiled at that and kissed him sweetly.

“Trust me, baby. You won’t regret this.”

Eddie knew that. He knew he wouldn’t regret anything he did with Richie. There were still some nerves left, but he was too tired to give them a chance to shut him down. He let Richie guide him down on his back, and couldn’t help but hold his breath as he started tugging off his boxers. The fabric was flung to the side, and Eddie instinctively pushed his legs up to hide himself. Richie touched his knees, but didn’t try to pry them open. Instead he moved to Eddie’s side, and started pressing kisses to the side of his face and his neck. Eddie sighed at the familiar sensations, and relaxed his legs a little in response.

“I love that you’ve kept this,” Richie whispered and tugged at the hem of the hoodie. Eddie smiled at the memory of Stan plopping it down on his desk. It had made him so happy.

“It smelled like you for a couple months…it made me miss you,” he told him. Richie hummed and settled his hand on one of Eddie’s hips. His thumb rubbing at the bone as he caressed his waist.

“I missed you. I knew it was you on the bus, I could just _feel_ it,” Richie huffed. Eddie squirmed at his breath so close to his ear. “I knew you were there, so I begged Stan to give it to you. Just so you knew I knew.”

“Of course you knew. I didn’t doubt it for a second,” Eddie said. Richie chuckled and moved to kiss him on the lips. Eddie accepted it and already started feeling his blood rush through his body.

“Can I touch you?” Richie asked. Eddie took a moment before nodding and then bit his lip as he opened his legs a little.

“Yes…please…” he begged. Richie kissed his cheek and then slowly moved his hand down until he was cupping Eddie’s sex. Eddie moaned instantly, and let his head roll back as Richie started his usual back a forth friction.

“I love the way you sound, baby,” Richie murmured. Eddie whimpered and reached for Richie’s hair so he could pull him into a kiss.

“I…I-I sound dumb,” Eddie replied. Richie shook his head.

“No…no, no, baby. You sound so _hot_ when I touch you like this. You feel so _warm_ , and just listening to you turns me on so fucking much,” he insisted. Eddie moaned weakly at that, and started circling his hips with Richie’s fingers.

“Richie…”

“Love the way you say my name. _Fuck_ , you’re so perfect,” Richie sighed. Eddie kissed him again, and Richie smiled.

“Do you want to try fingers? Like inside you?” He asked. Eddie shook his head.

“Not…not tonight. I’m too tired,” he said. Richie nodded.

“Okay, then I’m gonna go down now,” he announced. 

Eddie nodded and accepted his kiss before he pushed up a little of the hoodie and started kissing his hip bone. Feeling his tongue so close to his heat was maddening, and it didn’t help that he was still rubbing circles against him but slower this time. His toes curled into the sheets, and he shivered under Richie’s light touches over his thighs with his free hand. His throat felt raw from the crying, but that didn’t stop the little sounds that came out of it. Eddie wished he could stop it, but the pleasure was too much, and he could feel his body let go of the previous stress from the day in exchange for the tension building in his gut.

Going in Eddie didn’t know what to expect, but the moment he felt Richie’s mouth, hot and wet, engulf his length he could only feel pure pleasure. His eyes rolled back, and he kept them close as a string of moans and curses flooded from his lips as Richie sucked him in and licked him. Skinny fingers pinned his hips down, and Eddie liked the feeling of being held like that. It was comforting feeling Richie take the lead after such a crazy and uncontrollable situation. He felt safe, and he felt good. His legs shook while Richie pulled him closer, and he whimpered as he suckled his flesh.

“Richie…oh _fuck_ , holy shit…” Eddie gasped. He let go of the sheets in favor of reaching down and gripping the roots to Richie’s long hair. He pulled up, and Eddie groaned in protest. Richie chuckled and continued with his fingers.

“Fuck, you are something else,” he panted. Eddie sighed and tried to catch his breath, but the stimulation was too much.

“Feels good…I like it,” Eddie told him.

“I think you got a big dick, too, Eds,” Richie announces unexpectedly. Eddie furrowed his brows and lifted himself to look down at Richie.

“I…what?” He questioned. Richie laughed and leaned down to lick his growth again. Eddie’s breath hitched.

“This thing. Your penis, dude,” Richie replied. Eddie wrinkled his nose.

“You’re ruining the mood by calling it a penis,” he said. Richie smiled and slowly circled his thumb around it.

“But it’s big…you gotta big dick, Eds,” he said. Eddie blushed.

“It’s…i-it’s the testosterone…it was smaller before, but…it’s apart of the physical changes,” he explained.

“I like it,” Richie said. Eddie rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“You’re just…” he trailed off as Richie took him in his mouth again and sucked. “…j-just saying that,” he said breathlessly. Richie shook his head and circled his tongue around him.

“You think I’d lie to you, spaghetti man?” He looked up, and Eddie could see the glare in his glasses. “I like you too much to do that.” Eddie blushed and laid back down.

“Just…j-just get on with-“ he stopped talking and whined when Richie abruptly did as he was asked.

The nicest thing was the wetness of Richie’s mouth. Everything just slipped easier and he didn’t feel raw. With the hormones he didn’t get as wet anymore, but he liked that. Unfortunately that meant sex without lube was a little rougher, and he was now learning that they should probably start using it more often.

What was even nicer was the fact that Richie was so close to him. His hands touched him everywhere, and he could feel the fabric of his shirt brushing against his skin. The contact, the intimacy, and the tension in Richie’s grip was almost a head trip. After spending so much time alone, not even touching himself, it felt good to share the contact and know Richie wanted it just as badly as Eddie did. 

Wetness gathered around Eddie’s eyes, and he was surprised that he was crying again so soon after his bigger crying fit. He was glad he could cry, though, because everything was so good it was the first time he was happy crying. He tried to sniffle discreetly, but Richie heard him immediately.

“Eds? You okay? Should I stop?” He asked. Eddie shook his head and wiped away the tears.

“N…no, I’m just…” he sniffled again and Richie crawled up closer to him. Eddie could see him wiping his mouth in the dark, but still pushed him back so he wouldn’t kiss him. “Rich, that’s so gross.”

“I came on your face and made out with you, Eds. Fair is fair,” Richie pointed out. Eddie sighed and let his arms bend, and Richie leaned down to kiss him. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I’m just…overwhelmed. You make me so happy,” Eddie whispered. Richie pressed his forehead to Eddie’s.

“You make me happy too. These are happy tears, yeah?” He asked. Eddie nodded and smiled.

“I’ve never happy cried before,” he said. Richie bit back a smile and his eyes seemed to light up behind his glasses. Eddie’s own eyes had adjusted enough to see the twinkle in them. Richie kissed him.

“You’re so cute, Eds…cute cute cute,” he said ducking down and kissing his cheek, his forehead, and his other cheek. Eddie cupped his face and kissed him on the lips.

“Please…I think I was getting close,” he murmured. Richie nodded and started crawling back down only for Eddie to grab his sleeves. “Wait, wait…” he pulled the fabric off and Richie helped fling the shirt out onto the floor. Eddie frowned at that, but Richie merely continued his way back down.

Eddie was right. He was _very_ close, and with the added feeling of Richie’s bare skin against his legs he was even closer. It didn’t take long before Richie finally brought him to his orgasm, and Eddie was violently shaking while shoving his face more against his sex. Richie continued to lick at Eddie until he was pushed away, and he wiped his face with his arm again. Eddie continued to shiver and pressed his legs together to hopefully stop the vibrating, but ultimately had to ride it out until his muscles finally relaxed.

“You okay, baby?” Richie asked. 

Eddie nodded and reached for him. His boyfriend crawled over and let Eddie reach up and hug him. He hugged Eddie back and they laid there holding each other for a moment before Eddie started kissing his neck. The air was cold, but it never made Richie shiver like Eddie’s lips did. He nuzzled his hair, and the other male merely continued to suck and lick a mark under his collarbone. Richie groaned.

“Eds…c’mon, you gotta be tired,” he sighed.

“Hush,” Eddie murmured and touched down his chest.

“Really, you don’t have to-“

“I _want_ to,” he insisted. Richie clenched his jaw when Eddie kissed him more.

“Fuck, you’re so goddamn stubborn,” he hissed when Eddie bit him again.

“Do you not want it?” Eddie asked.

“What kinda question is that? Of course I want it,” Richie grumbled.

“Then let me do it, idiot,” Eddie argued.

Richie sat up and reached back for Eddie’s underwear. He slipped it back on and wrapped his arms tightly around Eddie’s waist. Eddie groaned and grumbled as he wriggled in defiance, but Richie only held him tighter.

“Fuck you. You need to fucking rest, you horn dog,” Richie hissed.

“Dude, I can fucking _feel_ your stupid boner against my _ass_ , bitch,” Eddie cussed.

“It would go away if you like _stopped_ or something.”

Eddie finally settled down and pouted. Of course Richie couldn’t see it, but he hoped he exuded enough pouty energy that he could feel it. When he finally stopped, Richie sighed and relaxed against him. He pulled his hips back, but Eddie could still feel the erection against his back. Then Richie’s hand left his side and he was trying to adjust it so it wasn’t poking him. Eddie rolled his eyes and reached back to grab Richie’s wrist and pull him snug against his back side.

“Eddie!” Richie hissed.

“Shh!” Eddie hissed back. Richie sighed in defeat and nuzzled Eddie’s neck. 

They were both still for a moment, but Eddie was quick to subtly roll his hips back. Richie tensed up and buried his face deeper into Eddie’s nape and shoulder. It was pretty easy to ignore at first. Small, tiny pushes against his cock that he only noticed when he wanted to. Then the pressure was a little harder, a little longer, and it was hard not to snap his hips into it. His hand found its way to Eddie’s hip, and he squeezed it automatically when he rolled them back again. He let out a heavy breath though his nose and bit his lip while Eddie held his free hand and pressed kisses to his knuckles.

“Eddie…Eds, I swear to god…” he sounded less threatening and more weakened than anything. His body was dying to react, but he stayed as still as he possibly could.

“What? I’m trying to rest or whatever,” Eddie sassed. Richie groaned out of frustration, and then groaned in pleasure when Eddie reached down to pull Richie’s leg over his.

“You’re trying to _kill_ me, babe,” he sighed.

“Would it really kill you to fuck me?” Eddie hummed and shoved his hips back harder. “You won’t let me do anything else…” he pointed out.

“Because you should be _resting_ ,” Richie growled.

“I am,” Eddie replied stubbornly. “I’d rest more if I could stop moving, but if you don’t get rid of that giant fucking boner I’m not getting any sleep at all,” he pointed out.

“I can’t believe we’re having an argument over me dry humping your fucking _ass_.”

“Then stop arguing with me and just _fuck it_ ,” Eddie snapped. Richie untangled his free hand to grip Eddie’s other hip and held him still before ramming his own forward. Eddie gasped, and Richie smirked before kissing his ear and slowly, torturously, grinding his cock between Eddie’s cheeks.

“Like that?” He asked. Eddie gasped again and pushed back a little.

“…yeah…”

“You like this?” Richie asked grinding harder before pulling back again. Eddie nodded and took in a sharp breath when Richie fucked forward again. “I’m not even inside you…I’m not even touching your dick…yet you like it?”

“I’m imagining you _are_ dickhead,” Eddie grumbled and pressed the heel of his palm between his legs. Richie chuckled and nibbled his lobe.

“I just got you off too,” he pointed out.

“Higher sex drive, Rich,” Eddie deadpanned. Richie hummed and kissed his neck while taking a normal pace rubbing against Eddie’s backside.

“I love it. You’re so sexy, babe,” Richie panted. Eddie bit his lip and started rubbing himself to Richie’s rhythm, and let out a shallow moan when his boyfriend sucked a hickey on his nape.

“Richie…” he moaned.

“Fuck, are you actually touching yourself?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded and moved his hand to slip under his boxers.

“You’re…you’re not doing it, so…ah…fuck…” Eddie shuddered at the feeling of his own skin, and pushed his hips back.

“Fuck. Lemme,” Richie begged. 

Eddie took out his hand, and gasped when Richie’s own hand slithered under his boxers again. He circled his fingers around the swollen flesh while he hammered his hips faster and harder against Eddie’s ass. He pushed back again, but Richie kept him in place to get a good angle between his legs.

“Ahh…Richie…baby…” Eddie moaned softly. Richie groaned loudly and slammed himself into Eddie. The smaller male letting out surprised gasps and moans that followed each harsh thrust.

“Fucking… _shit_ ,” Richie groaned.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck-ah-ah-ah!” Eddie cried. Richie slowed just a little so he could focus better on touching his boyfriend, but ultimately kept it fast. “Fuck…ah…this would…god, it’d be so hot if you were inside me,” Eddie panted. Richie groaned even louder and kissed his neck.

“Shut up.”

“God, Rich, just think…”

“No, Eds, please…”

“Being so warm and wet inside me…fucking me raw until I can’t walk—can’t _speak_ ,” he gasped the last word as Richie moved his hand faster against his sex.

“I’m gonna cum so fast if you keep that up,” he said.

“ _Please_ , baby,” Eddie whispered.

That’s all it took. Those two words were all it took for Richie to bury his face in Eddie’s neck and cum with a shout. Eddie was melting with him as Richie rubbed him through his orgasm. Richie panted harshly against Eddie’s hoodie, and pulled out his hand to wipe on his own cummy boxers.

“Take off those dirty boxers before you even think about falling asleep with me,” Eddie murmured sounding extremely fucked out. Richie sighed and nodded before pulling away and pulling them down.

“You’re a fucking nightmare sometimes, Eds,” Richie sighed as he sat naked on the bed. Eddie rolled over to blink up at him.

“Y’know I’m not some kinda fragile thing, right?” He asked seriously. Richie frowned.

“Huh?”

“When it comes to sex. I know I’m…well, less of a virgin now, but inexperienced, and I know me being trans makes things a little complicated-“

“No it doesn-“

“Shut up. What I mean to say is…if you want something, I want to give it to you. Just because we’re doing things slow—and it’s nice that you don’t want to push things…but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something,” Eddie explained. Richie frowned.

“I…I just don’t wanna make you uncomfortable,” he said. Eddie sat up.

“I _know_ that, Richie, and I _trust_ you, okay? But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either, and I can’t imagine starving off a boner being comfortable,” he pointed out. Richie pouted and looked down at his lap.

“It’s not so bad…”

“Would you feel okay knowing I was going to sleep horny when you fucking _offered_ to get me off and I clearly wanted it?” Eddie asked. Richie pursed his lips and then shook his head. “So why would I feel okay with that? Rich, this is a give and take kinda thing.”

“…okay…”

“Richie…” Eddie took his boyfriends hands, and they looked at each other. He took off Richie’s glasses and set it on the night stand before returning back to him. “Please…ask for more.”

“More what?”

“From _me_ , Richie! More from me. I may have my moments, but you can have your moments too. Not just with sex, but with everything else,” Eddie told him. Richie furrowed his brows and then leaned in to kiss him.

“How the _fuck_ did I find you?” He whispered against his lips. Eddie shook his head.

“I dunno. You’re the one who crashed the chat room,” he pointed out. Richie laughed and nodded.

“That’s true, holy shit.”

“C’mon. We’re both dead tired. Let’s sleep,” Eddie cooed. Richie nodded and then bit his lip.

“Could…could I be the little spoon this time?” He asked. Eddie smiled.

“Of course.”


	7. Seven

The campus was a little empty over winter break. They all had a good four weeks to themselves, and none of Eddie’s friends were considering going home for Christmas. Stan went back up to Maine because his parents didn’t want to go down to him, but Bill, Beverly, Ben, and Richie all stayed on campus. Sometimes they’d go to Richie’s house, but the privacy of their dorm rooms was a lot nicer. That and his parents were starting to catch on, and started offering the guest room to Eddie when he slept over.

Thankfully, Eddie heard nothing from his mother since she barged in that one day. He got letters from Mike in the mail, and that was the extend of his contact with Derry. There was nothing from his old church ‘friends’, and his favorite people from Derry didn’t even live there anymore except for Mike. He was happy to just forget about that sad little town and never think of it again.

“Goodness, Eds. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve got some weird case of hives,” Beverly said one day. Eddie looked at her confused, but quickly remembered all the marks Richie had been leaving since they were on break from classes. He bashfully pulled up his collar and shook his head.

“He’s just doing it because we don’t have any class,” he grumbled. Beverly laughed from his bed and rolled over onto her stomach to look at him right side up.

“That sounds like Richie logic. Do you like it?” She asked. Eddie blushed and pursed his lips before returning to his notebook.

“Kinda…”

“It’s totally normal to be into it, y’know,” she assured him playfully. Eddie nervously pushed him self back and forth in his desk chair, before turning to face her and stuffing his hands between his knees.

“Beverly…have you had…sex?” He asked. He didn’t need to look at her to know she was surprised to hear him ask that.

“Uh…I mean, yeah. What kinda sex?” She questioned.

“…y’know…” he made a vague hand gesture and Beverly raised a brow.

“…do you mean penetration?” Eddie nodded turning more red. “Yeah, I’ve done that. Why?”

“Richie and I…uh…we haven’t done that yet, but…we’ve talked about doing it,” he said. Beverly moved her position to sit up to look at him better. She then reached over and pulled Eddie closer, and smiled when he finally made eye contact with her.

“That’s better. Okay…so you wanna have sex with Richie?” She asked. Eddie nodded.

“I already don’t really know what I’m doing, but the doctor said sex could be more difficult on hormones, so…I dunno what to do to make it easy,” he explained.

“And you’re comfortable doing it?” Beverly questioned. Eddie took in a deep breath and then sighed.

“I think I can be soon. We decided to go slow so we’re taking it steps at a time,” he told her.

“Okay. It’s good to know you’re taking this as slowly as you need,” Bev said with a smile. He smiled back. “Okay, so what did your doctor say specifically?”

“They said…it’ll be drier? They might’ve said something else, but they mostly talked about dryness.”

“Do you know what that means?”

“Kinda? I mean, I don’t get as much…y’know…anymore, but when I’m…in the mood there’s still something,” his face twisted with disgust when he thought about what his body produced.

“It’s probably hard to notice, but they probably mean that when you’re in the mood it’ll be drier than if you were off hormones,” she explained.

“Oh…”

“Do you have lube?” She asked. Eddie shook his head. “Does Richie have any?”

“He mentioned it once.”

“Do you guys have condoms?”

“I think so? But I’m not sure. Richie would have them if we do.”

“Yeah, then you don’t. That boy doesn’t have a single rubber on deck,” she told him.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so whenever you think you’re ready to go there, lube and condoms are a must. I dunno what the hormones do to your baby chamber, but I’ve definitely heard of trans men getting pregnant before and I’m not ready to be an aunt yet,” she said. Eddie looked absolutely disgusted at the mention of being pregnant and nodded his head in agreement.

“Yeah, I’m never getting pregnant. Between the two of us, I think Richie would rather be the pregnant one,” he muttered. They both giggled at that in agreement, and then looked over as the door opened with a knock.

“Oh, speak of the devil,” Beverly teased. Richie frowned with a raised brow as he closed the door behind him.

“Pardon me, ma’am?” He said pulling the desk chair Eddie sat in closer to him and leaning down to kiss his cheek. Eddie smiled and kissed him back.

“Bev and I were discussing how thrilled you would be to be with child,” he told him. Richie grinned and stood up straight with a hand over his tummy.

“Ugh, it would be an honor! I was meant to be a mother,” Richie agreed. The three of them laughed together, and Richie pulled out a little baggy from his shirt pocket. “Yo, I got the good shit. You wanna hit, Marsh?” He asked.

“Fuck yeah, I do! You in, Eds?” She asked. Eddie nodded and got up to climb over his bed and open his window.

“Perfect! I’ll start us off,” he said plopping into eddies chair and pulling his lighter. Eddie turned to sit on the bed with Beverly as he pulled out a blunt from the baggy and returned it to his shirt pocket.

“That’s gotta be a bit strong for you to be sharing that,” Beverly commented as Richie lit the end and took the first hit.

“It’s just a bit stronger than normal. Nothing crazy though,” he assured her and passed it along. Beverley accepted it and Eddie stood up from the bed to turn on the fan. When he came back Richie pulled him closer from around the waist, and accepted the blunt being passed to him. He always coughed a little bit more than the others, but it was worth the break from his anxieties for a little bit.

“C’mere baby, I’ve been wanting to hold you all day,” Richie said in the guise of only wanting cuddles. Eddie knew better, but still slid into his lap as he passed the blunt back. Richie took another hit and let it out in a deep breath and a wide grin. “That shit sure hits the spot,” he murmured passing it back to Bev. She giggled in agreement and took a drag.

“It sure fucking does,” she agreed. Eddie nodded and took his second hit as well, and they continued passing it until they got about half way through it.

“I should save the rest of this for later when I don’t have you guys hogging it,” Richie teased. Eddie giggled. He knew Richie didn’t like to get high by himself. If someone wasn’t with him he would be too panicked to enjoy it.

“Don’t be so selfish,” Eddie hummed feeling the nice wash of relaxation. He leaned closer, his arm slung over Richie’s shoulders and Richie’s hands placed lazily over his thighs. Why’d he wear shorts again? Right, because he knew Richie wanted to hang out today. He just didn’t expect Bev to still be here.

“I’ll be as selfish as I want, Eddie-baby,” he murmured in return and kissed him gently. Eddie laughed and broke it off before Richie could turn it into something dirty.

“Richieeee, don’t be gross. Bev is here,” Eddie reminded him. Beverley merely smiled and bit her lip as she was looking down at her phone.

“She’s not even watching us,” Richie replied and kissed down Eddie’s neck. God, why did he have to get so touchy when he was high?

“She’s high!” Eddie protested.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m pretty high,” Bev said. They all chuckled again, but Eddie was quick to roll his eyes as Richie continued to kiss and hold him.

“Sorry, Bev. You may wanna skip out now. I dunno how well I can control him,” Eddie warned her.

“What are you talking about, baby? You have complete control over me,” Richie murmured before biting his lobe. Eddie bit his lip and gently shook his head.

“I gotcha. It’s okay, Ben wanted to show me something anyways. See you guys later,” she as she pulled her hoodie back on and rolled off the bed. Richie continued mouthing at Eddie’s neck while Eddie waved goodbye to her, but the instant the door closed Richie was clearly done holding back.

“Fuck, Richie. Calm down,” Eddie groaned as Richie liberally squeezed up and down his bare thighs.

“Can’t. Been thinking of you since I woke up. Wish I could’ve been next to you when I did,” Richie said as he started touching the inside of Eddie’s thighs.

“Really?” Eddie asked raising a brow and trying to sound annoyed. Richie grinned and playfully circled his thumb against Eddie’s skin.

“Fuck yeah. You’re so sexy, baby. Y’know that?” Richie continued and possessively grabbed the inside of Eddie’s thigh. His legs widened in response, and Eddie both loved and hated how easily Richie turned him on.

“Perv,” Eddie huffed despite loving every second of attention Richie gave him. Richie bit his lip and touched the hem of his shorts. They were the pair he always wore on their lazy days that they didn’t have to worry about other people seeing them.

“Y’know I was just trying to make Marsh scram, but…” he slipped his fingers under the hem and squeezed under Eddie’s cheek. Eddie gave a quiet gasp in surprise, and felt his back curl like a cat. He wanted to chide himself, but he was distracted when Richie started speaking again. “…you seem to have a weak spot. Huh, Eds?” He teased and then moved his fingers so his thumb pressed against the skin where his thigh met his groin. Where his underwear would’ve been if he knew Richie was going to try something.

“You’re close to my dick, asshole, of course I’m fucking turned on,” Eddie grumbled. He gripped the front of Richie’s teeshirt and closed his legs so Richie’s hand was trapped in the warmth between them.

“Aw, c’mon baby. I’m just teasing,” Richie cooed and tried to coax his legs back open. Eddie continued to frown, but was quickly distracted when Richie kissed down his throat.

“Are you adding more?” Eddie asked trying not to sound hopeful. Richie merely hummed and guided his legs open again. Eddie’s heart was already racing, and his breathing was quick to pick up with it. “You…you really shouldn’t…classes start in a couple weeks…th-they’ll all be gone by then if you…cut…cut it out,” he stammered and stuttered as Richie’s lips and tongue worked on his neck. His hand had successfully returned Eddie’s legs to their previous position and pushed them open even more so.

“Oops,” was all Richie said in response before moving on to a second one. Eddie groaned and moved his free hand to the curls at Richie’s nape.

“Stupid fucking testosterone. If my sex drive wasn’t fucking nuts right now you _wouldn’t_ be getting away with this shit,” Eddie groaned. Richie chuckled and moved his hand back an inch.

“Oh? Should I stop?” He asked. Eddie quickly grabbed his wrist and glared at him.

“If you don’t fucking touch me soon you’re dead,” he threatened. Richie grinned and kissed him on the lips.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he hummed and resumed the kiss. Eddie sighed and sank into it only to tense back up when he felt Richie press his hand between his legs.

“Fuck…” he sighed between kisses.

“You’re so cute, Eds. So fucking sexy,” Richie murmured as he started to rub him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve got nothing on under this. That’s like crazy hot,” he continued.

“God, what are you? Ten?” Eddie murmured, but eventually rocked his hips with Richie’s hand.

“Yeah, the only ten you’ll see,” Richie grinned. 

Eddie bit back a smile. It was stupid, but he loved it. He loved Richie. He loved Richie more than anything. They’ve never said it yet, but Eddie knew he was absolutely head over heels for him. After everything they’ve been through together, the messaging, the doctors visits, the classes, his mother, he knew it was inevitable. He only hoped that Richie felt the same.

“If you’re a ten then I’m an eleven,” Eddie teased. Richie chuckled and brought his fingers up to his mouth to lick them. He then pushed past the elastic of Eddie’s shorts and pressed his wet fingers directly against him. Eddie gasped and welcomed it by moving his hips again.

“Baby you’re so hot you’re off the scale. I mean, just look at you,” Richie hummed. He took his own advice and watched as Eddie melted under his touch. His free hand now firm around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie’s thin fingers grasped tightly on Richie’s shirt and his hair.

“Richie…”

“I gotcha, Eds. Got ya, baby,” Richie cooed and leaned in to nip his jaw and kiss down his neck. Eddie leaned his head back and moaned in delight as Richie stroked his growth.

“Mm…fuck…I wanna have sex with you so bad,” Eddie blurted. Blame it on the high, but they constantly talked a lot of smack when they were in the heat of the moment. Richie groaned this time too hearing Eddie’s confession. It was less of a confession and more of a reminder.

“Yeah, baby? Wanna feel my cock inside you?” Richie whispered. Eddie shivered and pouted. They still haven’t done much. Richie really only ate him out that one time. Eddie’s never actually had anything inside him before. It just sounded incredibly sexy to say.

“Put a finger in?” He requested. Richie groaned again and pulled his fingers out to rewet them with his mouth.

“Damn, you couldn’t ask me when we weren’t high?” He murmured and returned his fingers to their rightful place.

“You seriously think I’d be loose enough for this if I wasn’t blazed?” Eddie challenged and then moaned when Richie stroked him again.

“We only took a few hits each, but you have a point.” He continued rubbing and started to dip his middle finger inside Eddie. Not all the way, and only a little at a time every time he stroked down. “You sure about this, Eddie baby?” Eddie took a shivering breath. It felt weird every time Richie dipped into him, but a _good_ weird. It was a promising weird. A promise for something amazing. He nodded.

“Yes please,” he confirmed. Richie sighed and kissed him on the lips. He then gently slid his finger inside Eddie, and felt the other man stiffen in his lap.

It was…weird. The spit definitely helped, but it was so foreign Eddie wasn’t sure how much it did. It almost felt like nothing, but just slightly less comfortable. Then Richie started to pull it out and push it back in. The friction definitely made it better but it was nothing to scream about like they do in the movies. Eddie must’ve looked annoyed or pained because Richie was chuckling and kissing up and down his neck as usual.

“How it is?” He asked.

“Kinda…underwhelming,” Eddie admitted. Richie laughed louder.

“There’s more to it. Are you ready?” Richie hummed. Eddie hesitated before nodding. “Hold on, okay?”

“Hold on? Jesus, what the fuck are you—“

Before Eddie could finish his sentence Richie started curling and prodding his finger. At first it was really weird, but then he pressed against something that made Eddie gasp and dig his fingers into Richie’s shirt. An overwhelming pressure built up inside Eddie, and with each press of Richie’s fingers it only got hotter and hotter. He moved his finger faster, and Eddie started moaning instead of gaping. He whimpered and whined and rocked his hips with the movement. His body felt so full, and the sensation was comparable to scratching an itch you didn’t even know you had.

“Mmm…another. Please,” Eddie gasped. Richie kissed his cheek.

“Let’s go slow, okay baby? Next time we’ll do it and we’ll use lube,” Richie assured him. Eddie pouted, but agreed with his sentiment.

In the end, Richie’s finger wasn’t enough. They got each other off the old fashioned way and just rubbed it out together, but it still felt good. It added something to Eddie’s orgasm, and he could confidently say he’s never felt something like that in his life. He was grateful that Richie was the one to do it, but when he tried to say thank you Richie merely said it was his pleasure with a wink. They were cleaning up in the midst of their afterglow when Eddie’s phone went off and he picked it up.

“Hello?” He said trying not to sound totally cross faded with weed and sex.

“Hey, E-Eds, I think I found your f-f-friend in the student center,” Bill said. Eddie furrowed his brows.

“My friend? Who are you talking about? I’m not expecting anybody,” Eddie replied.

“He says he knows you from D-D-Derry? Uh…” Bill trailed off, and in a couple seconds a new yet familiar voice entered Eddie’s ear.

“Hey, Eddie! Sorry to drop by unannounced, but this was a bit of a little last minute decision.” Eddie’s eyes flew wide open.

“Mikey!” He gasped.

“Mike? From Derry?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded and quickly hung up his phone to shove his shoes on.

“C’mon! They’re in the student center!”

Taking his boyfriend’s hand, Eddie dragged them across campus to the student center. Of course, it took them a while after sharing a joint and fooling around, but they made it as soon as they could. Considering that, they made pretty good time, and by the time they could see Mike and Bill talking through the windows, Eddie more than made up for his speed as he shoved the door open and nearly flung himself into his friends arms. Mike caught him with a smile and his old-man comforting chuckle that Eddie had missed so much. You just couldn’t hear that through a letter.

“Mike! I’m so glad to see you! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming!” Eddie asked excitedly. Richie finally caught up with him and smiled at how happy Eddie looked.

“I said it was a little last minute, but basically…I missed you and I just saved enough money for a little trip to see you in the big city,” Mike explained. 

Eddie’s smile was so excited yet relaxed at the same time. Mike had always been very comforting to Eddie. Just his whole demeanor and personality made him feel cared for and respected. He was just so nice, and he had the most normal reaction to Eddie coming out. All he did was give a head nod and apologize for any slip ups that might happen while he gets used to the new pronouns and name. Just thinking of that memory made Eddie feel calm and normal and happy. Everyone else was either excited or confused or distracted, but in a good way. Mike was just Mike, and sometimes a person needs a little Mike to feel normal and okay.

“That’s so sweet of you. I hope it wasn’t too expensive for you. We could buy your ticket back up,” Eddie offered, but Mike merely shook his head.

“The only thing I want from you, Kaspbrak, is more hugs, a tour of your campus, and a good discussion about how much happier you are now,” Mike said. Richie liked the sound of that and stepped closer as Eddie stepped back.

“Mike, this is Richie. He’s the guy I was talking to before I left,” Eddie introduced. Richie smiled and reached over to shake Mike’s hand. He was met with a firm handshake and a smile.

“Hi, I’m Richie Tozier.”

“Oh yeah. Stan talked about you a little too. Eddie talked about you more, but…that’s not very surprising,” Mike replied with a sly smile glancing at Eddie. He blushed and shook his head.

“Shut up, I did not! He was just annoying me!” Eddie replied defensively. Richie laughed and pulled Eddie closer.

“Yeah? All the way back then? Shoot, I’m flatter, spaghetti,” Richie said. Eddie wiggled in protest, but ultimately enjoyed Richie’s warmth. They didn’t get to cuddle like they usually did when they messed around, so he was craving a little bit of contact now.

“D-don’t worry, Eds. I’ve g-got plenty of messages from Richie about you archived for this exact r-reason,” Bill assured him. Richie blushed a little at that, but Eddie was too distracted by Bills presence to tease him about it.

“Oh! This is Bill! He was dating Stan before I left,” Eddie told him. Bill and Mike shyly met eyes at Eddie’s introduction, and Mike laughed a little.

“Yeah, uh…we slowly came to that realization. I never thought I’d finally meet the one and only ‘Bunz4life’ in person,” Mike said with a teasing, almost flirty tone. Bill blushed and chuckled nervously.

“God, th-the usernames we p-p-pick out in high school, huh?”

“Like you wouldn’t pick that out now, Billium,” Richie said releasing Eddie but keeping an arm over his shoulders. Eddie clung to his side. The weed and post-orgasm endorphins were really starting to hit.

“I’m so sorry, Mike, but Rich and I kinda just shared a joint and I’m really sleepy. Maybe let’s do the tour tomorrow?” Eddie suggested. Mike nodded.

“Sure, but…only if I could get a little too this weekend. It’s impossible to find in town, and my dad would be able to sniff it on me even if I did get my hands on it,” Mike replied. Richie laughed and pulled the half smoked joint from his pocket and handed it to him.

“Knock yourself out, bud. On the house my man. It’s a relaxing kinda blend,” Richie told him. Mike nodded and accepted the baggy.

“Thanks, dude! You’re alright,” he said. They laughed together and Eddie smiled wide at all his friends getting along so well.

“Do you have a place to stay? My dorm is kinda small, so I dunno how comfortable it’ll be for you. Did you talk to Ben or Bev?”

“He can sleep on my bed in our room,” Richie said tilting his head towards Bill. “Right, Big Bill?” Richie added with a wink. Bill seemed to only get redder the longer they talked, but nodded regardless.

“Y-yeah, sure. I don’t m-mind,” he replied.

“Perfect! Bill and Mike are rooming for the weekend, and we are going to take a nap while they light up,” Richie announced. Eddie giggled, and they all nodded in agreement. “Great. Bill, escort Micheal to our dorm, and I’ll escort Eddie to bed.” Eddie blushed and lightly hit his chest.

“Thanks so much for coming. We’ll have dinner together once I wake up and this wears off,” Eddie said happily to Mike. Mike’s smile widened at that and nodded.

“Yes! Beverly already picked out a spot for us!”

“Perfect!” Richie replied and reached out to shake his hand again. Mike accepted and then gave Eddie another hug. They parted ways, and once they were out of ear shot Richie leaned down to speak close to Eddie’s ear.

“How long do you think until they bone the living day lights out of each other?” Richie asked. Eddie laughed and shook his head.

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Eddie giggled and stopped to kiss him on the lips. The weed usually made Eddie a little more cuddly too, but midday sex really loosened him up to kissing Richie more.

“I give them two days,” Richie said and accepted Eddie’s next kiss.

“I’d say tonight after dinner,” Eddie replied and then kissed him more deeply. Richie hummed against his lips and held his body closer.

“Yeah, we’re not napping when we get back,” he said and ripped himself away to march back towards Eddie’s dorm. Eddie laughed and eagerly followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I forgot about this story ;-;


End file.
